Sandworms of Dune - Brian Herbert [124]
Now—unless clean cells were found to grow a new ghola—the people aboard the Ithaca would never have access to Hawat’s Mentat and tactical skills. In fact, Jessica realized that after all this time, the ghola project had produced very little that could be used to help them. Only Yueh, Stilgar, and Liet-Kynes had been reawakened to their past lives, but the latter two were gone. And Yueh, while a skilled Suk doctor, was not a particularly great asset to their team.
He killed my Duke Leto—again.
With the Face Dancer threat, the missing explosive mines, and the various incidents of sabotage, the need for the gholas and their old skills had become more urgent. The remaining unawakened ghola children must have special abilities; Jessica knew they had all been brought back for a reason. Each of them. Paul, Chani, and she were all of an appropriate age; even Leto II should be old enough. Gradual, careful measures could not possibly be sufficient. Not anymore.
She sighed. If not now, then when would their historical abilities be useful? I must have my memories back!
Jessica could offer so much more to benefit the no-ship, if given the opportunity. She felt like a husk of a person without her original life. In her quarters, she stood up so swiftly that she startled both Alia and Leto. “You two should return to your rooms.” Her gruff voice invited no argument. “There’s something important I have to do. These Bene Gesserits are cowards, though they don’t realize it. They can no longer afford to be.”
In some ways, Sheeana was brash and impetuous, but in other ways overly cautious. Jessica knew someone, however, who would not shy away from inflicting pain upon her.
“Who are you going to see?” Leto asked.
“Garimi.”
THE HARD-LINE REVEREND MOTHER regarded her with a stony expression, then smiled slowly. “Why should I do this? Are you mad?”
“Just pragmatic.”
“Do you have any understanding of how much this is going to hurt?”
“I am prepared for it.” She looked at Garimi’s dark, curly hair, her flat and unattractive features; Jessica, by contrast, was the very ideal of classical beauty, designed by the Bene Gesserit to play the role of a seductress, a breeding mother whose features had been copied again and again for centuries after her death. “And I know, Proctor Superior, that if anyone can inflict that pain, you are prepared to do so.”
Garimi seemed caught between amusement and uneasiness. “I have imagined countless ways to twist the knife in you, Jessica. I have often considered how much harm your actions did to the old Sisterhood. You derailed our entire Kwisatz Haderach program, created a monster we couldn’t control. After Paul, as a direct consequence of your defiance, we suffered thousands of years under the Tyrant. For what conceivable reason would I want to awaken you? You betrayed us.”
“So you say.” Garimi’s words struck like hurled stones. The woman had tormented Jessica for years, as well as poor Leto II. Jessica knew all the accusations, understood how the conservative Bene Gesserit faction viewed her. But she had not previously endured the shocking depth of hatred and anger that the woman now showed toward her. “Your own words reveal a great deal, Garimi. The old Sisterhood. Where are your thoughts? We are already living in the future.”
“That doesn’t negate the terrible pain you caused.”
“You keep insisting that I should bear that guilt. But how can I feel it, if I don’t remember? Are you content with me as a scapegoat, a whipping boy for all the imagined wrongs of the past? Sheeana wants my memories restored so that I can help us. But you, Garimi, should be just as eager to awaken me. Admit it—can you think of a better Bene Gesserit punishment than drowning me in the unforgivable things you say I’ve done to the Sisterhood? Awaken me! Make me see it for