Save Me - Lisa Scottoline [28]
“Listen.” Leo rubbed her arms, and John stirred, but stayed asleep. “I got a bunch of calls from reporters today, and there are messages at work, too. We have to be smart about this. I realize that this trial comes at the worst time, but it’s out of my control.”
“Can’t you get an extension from the judge? You have a child in the hospital.”
“Melly’s coming home tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, around noon.”
“Then no.” Leo gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Look, I have to leave. Tonight, take John and go home.”
“I don’t have a car.”
“Yes, you do. I parked yours out front.”
“Thanks. How did you do that?”
“By cab. Listen, Melly will be fine tonight. I put her new book in the diaper bag, plus the DS. You can call her every hour. I’ll call if I can, too.”
“Leo, no.” Rose felt so confused. Her head thundered. “I can’t go home and leave her alone. She just went through a major trauma.”
“Then go home until one of the sitters frees up, and maybe you can come back.”
“I don’t want to leave her alone. She could have died. Amanda is dying. This is real, and it matters.” Rose felt herself get worked up. She flashed on the teddy bears in the ambulance. “These kids are real, not packages you can drop off. They live and they die.”
Leo blinked. “I know that.”
“Melly’s always accommodating John. It’s never the other way around.”
Leo frowned in confusion. “That’s because he’s the baby.”
“Or is it because he’s your baby?”
“What?” Leo’s lips parted. “Are you crazy?”
Mommy!
Rose blinked. Maybe she was. She felt it, a little. She was responsible for a child’s death. She couldn’t take anything back. She couldn’t replay anything. It was too late to make a different decision. Time wasn’t her friend, it had never been. It didn’t care about children, life, or death. It just ticked ahead, moving on, ever forward, always later.
“Ro, it’s not a choice between Melly and John, or between Melly and Amanda. You’re all over the place. Hang on to yourself.” Leo touched her arm, and John shifted, his nose bubbling. “I love both kids the same, you know that. Right now, the only family that matters is ours. Not theirs, ours. You, me, Melly, and John. Even Googie. That’s the family that means everything to me.”
“Is that why you’re going to work?”
“What?”
“You heard me.” Rose knew she was wrong, even as the words escaped her lips. She was digging herself a hole and she didn’t know why, but she couldn’t stop herself, either.
Leo’s eyes widened, a bewildered brown, the hue of earth itself. He shut his mouth, pursing his lips, and she could see he didn’t want to say anything he would regret. Without another word, he turned on his heel and strode back to the hospital room, where she knew he would put on a happy face and give Melly a good-bye kiss.
Rose remained frozen in the sunlight, and when Leo emerged from Melly’s room, she didn’t apologize or try to stop him.
She let him walk down the hall.
Away.
Chapter Sixteen
Rose began walking and rocking John, who was fussy and unhappy. He’d slept most of the afternoon, but his second dose of Tylenol was wearing off and he must’ve been hungry. She replaced his pacifier and sang him “Oh Susanna,” her go-to song, but it wasn’t working. She didn’t know what had happened to Amanda, and she felt cut off from the world, tense, and out of sorts.
John wailed, and Melly looked up from her Beedle the Bard book. “Mom, what does he want?”
“I don’t know. His ear must hurt.”
“Why don’t we tell the doctor?”
“They’re all busy, and he’s not their patient.”
“Why not?”
“That’s not how it works.
“‘Oh, don’t you cry for me.’” Rose sang and swayed, but John kept crying. She walked him to the window, but he wouldn’t be distracted by mere trees and a setting sun. She had to quiet him before the nurses got wise to their pajama party. She paced back to the bed. “Melly?”
“Yes?” She looked up from the book, pressing her oxygen tube dutifully into place.
“I’m going to go downstairs and get us some more food. I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Okay.”
“If you need anything, you can always ask the nurse.” Rose picked