Saving Graces - Elizabeth Edwards [78]
When I got to the Learning Lab the next day, Steven handed me a letter. Alyse had given it to him, and he had read it—which I loved because he only knew Wade through a mother’s description, and who could trust that? But now he had Alyse’s eloquence, Alyse’s eyes to inspire him each day. And I had it, too.
Dear Wade,
I just found out it was you that the Lab was dedicated to. I’d like to say that I’m impressed and you wouldn’t believe how much the students are grateful for it. There are some kids who do come in and cut up but I guess that’s just you given them the sillies. I hear you climb a mountain! I’m so proud that you climb it but that could never be me, I’m not that brave.
Listen, I just wanted to say something that I didn’t get to say when we attended school together. You were my only real friend and the only one since then. I want to thank you for being there and taking up for me when everyone else didn’t. For sitting with me at lunch when I thought I had to eat by myself and making sure everyday was a good one. Even though I acted up all the time I’m glad I had someone to make me be serious when I needed to. I might not have gotten out of there without you, I have so much to thank you for because you make me the person I am. In being there for others, not judging, doing my own thing, beingable to establish trust for and from other people. Thank you will never be enough neither will this letter or this poem but I hope that my heart is sufficient and my soul a light.
I don’t feel sorry for you or sad other than the fact that elementary was the last time I saw you. I am hurt because of that. But your in a very special place right now so enjoy it. Don’t send down no teardrops of rain because you’re lonely (joking, cry all you want). You know what you did that was really special? You understood me most of the time and when you didn’t you tried. When other people didn’t understand me or what I was saying, they call me name, but not you! You were that light I tried and continually try to follow, but your too bright. I wont give up though. I come to terms that it was you that pulled me to that picture in the lab everyday. I’m sorry it didn’t click. When your mom hugged me, I so badly wanted to cry, but I held it in. I didn’t want to make her upset. I still make paper hats, footballs, and boats you taught me how to make and I still remember the last score in the last football game we played. 37–17!! I never beat you, you were just too good! God bless your soul, I love You.
White Sand
My friend, the white sand on the beaches,
that gives us heaven on earth
And the sun that shines brightly over,
tripping on the clouds and winds,
of obstacles, but never hurt.
A martyr in my mind and others, forever my brother.
Sunny days are when you smiled,
and life awakens in your pretty blue eyes.
My brother, white sand on the beaches and the sun,
pure as diamonds and precious as gold,
the bestest friend I’ve ever known,
When I’m sad, I hope your there to hold my hand.
When I’m happy, I hope your there to hug my neck.
Because if it wasn’t for you my life would be a total wreck.
And for you my companion, I love you for that.
Your in my heart, forever!
The spring came. We restarted a conversation we had had before Wade died about whether John should run for the U.S. Senate seat held by Lauch Faircloth. David and Jim and John sat at our kitchen table, readying for the fight. John went by the state Democratic party headquarters and was greeted quizzically when he said he thought he would challenge Faircloth. He went to Washington to talk to Bob Kerrey, who was the head of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee and who didn’t greet him quizzically at all. Bob knew as well as anyone that some fights are brewing inside and you are ready before anyone else knows. While John was away, I thought I would straighten the study. It sounded simple enough, I know, but it was covered in papers. What it meant, of course, was going through a lot of paper that had to do with Wade: cards on which he had written his bibliography