Scales of Gold - Dorothy Dunnett [287]
‘That I was going to Scotland, unless I couldn’t manage without you. You know this Princess Mary in Scotland?’ Gelis said. She lifted her head. The place where it had lain felt damp and rather cold.
Nicholas said, ‘You’ve been serving her. She’s seventeen, and the Scottish King’s older sister, and has married into a family who have rather a questionable grip on her brother’s kingdom just now. They say King James wept at her wedding.’ He recited it. Gelis was sitting apart on the floor, her hands on her knees. She wasn’t looking at him.
‘Thomas Boyd,’ she remarked. ‘Boyd is the name of the family who are trying to dominate Scotland. King James is sixteen, and his brother, the one who stayed in Bruges, is three years younger. Bishop Kennedy, who would have helped them resist this, is dead.’
‘And you want to advise them?’ Nicholas said. ‘Canals and carpet-weaving, and how to get their fountains in order?’ She had spent endless hours rearranging the table fountains he had had made in Venice.
Gelis said, ‘Mary’s husband is to go away in July. Thomas Boyd. He’s to go to Denmark to arrange a royal marriage. She could be pregnant.’
‘I understand all that,’ Nicholas said. ‘Gelis. Would you sit on a chair, and let me look at your face? It’s a nice face, and I feel I shan’t be seeing it for very much longer.’
He stayed quiet. After a moment, without otherwise moving, she turned her face to him. Then he said, ‘Wait,’ and rose.
The brazier glowed by the bed. He lit a lamp from a taper and, bringing it back, stood it on the table beside them. She didn’t protest. After a moment, he sat down again.
He said, ‘At least, if you are weeping, it hasn’t been easy. I can say goodbye, Gelis, if I must. We exhaust one another. We quarrel. The bond we have from what we found on the journey may come to mean less. And you cannot forgive me, or forget.’
It seemed better that he should say it. She kept her eyes fixed on him throughout; pale blue eyes liquid with tears. Before he finished, her eyes on him still, she gave a short, barking sob, followed by others. Then she gulped and silenced herself. Her face was still contorted.
Nicholas said, ‘Oh, no, Gelis!’ and made to kneel with her.
‘No,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. It’s … I don’t know what it is. I need a handkerchief.’
He gave her one, and she used it. He said, ‘It’s the time of the month; I should know. I always get –’
‘You always get hurt then,’ she finished. Her face, roughly dried, was patched and pink, and her eyes were deep-set and enormous. She sniffed, and rose to her feet. The front of her chemise was soaked. He could see the pink and dark-pink of her breasts, as if through buttered silk. He found he was very tired.
Gelis said, ‘Now I shall sit at your desk, and you will stay where you are, and I shall say to you what has to be said. Do you know that Godscalc spoke to me tonight?’
She had reached his desk by now, on its dais, and was perched where he usually sat. She picked up the quill he had picked up when Diniz came.
‘About us?’ he said. He had shut the casement and turned, so that he could face her.
‘About you,’ she said. ‘He said that, whatever I felt, you had a destiny that must be fulfilled, and that nothing petty should stand in the way. He said he felt you had found the way you were looking for, and wanted a partner. He said that he was not surprised that your choice had fallen on me, for I was in all things your complement.’
‘That at least is true,’ Nicholas said. ‘Here and there, we have proved it.’
‘Don’t!’ she said. ‘Nicholas, don’t. He said that you would accept me, without question, if I offered myself. He said the responsibility was mine, to bring you what was sound, and not what was secretly blighted. He said if I had any doubts about this at all, I should leave you for ever.’
Nicholas said, ‘What it is to have friends. I carried him …’ He shut off the words, and his eyes, with his palms.
She said, ‘Oh, Nicholas. Nicholas.’
He took his hands down. He said, ‘Tell me, then. Gelis, I won’t blame you, or harm you, or think ill of you. After all