Scattered Suns - Kevin J. Anderson [115]
Chapter 54—SAREIN
Ever since her disturbing conversation with the forest golem of Beneto, Sarein had wrestled with her doubts. Looking deeply with his wood-grain eyes, Beneto had exposed her true motivations. Until then, she hadn’t been willing to face them herself.
Idriss and Alexa might be easily fooled by their daughter’s altruistic claims, and Basil Wenceslas had his expectations about her ability to lead Theroc...but Beneto understood her heart. He knew exactly what she would do, the contradictory things she wanted, and what was wrong with her. How could she argue with him?
In all her years of living here, Sarein had never really loved Theroc, considering the place a primitive backwater, a shackle around her ankle that prevented her from achieving wonderful things. She had imagined that anything would be better than this uncivilized wilderness, and she had done everything possible to escape to the Hansa. There, starry-eyed, ambitious, and genuinely talented, she became accepted as part of the Chairman’s inner power circle. She had even become Basil’s lover to open doors and create advantages for herself. It had been only a ploy at first, and then her feelings had become complicated...
Sarein sighed. Yes, her brother Reynald had been killed in the hydrogue attack, making her the eldest surviving child of Father Idriss and Mother Alexa. Her claim to the throne was viable. If she pressed the issue, she might succeed in convincing her parents and even her people to accept her as the next Mother. But Sarein didn’t belong here; she knew that better than anybody. She wanted to be back on Earth, wrapped in the tangled politics of the Hansa, attending banquets and meetings, able to watch a hundred different newsnets, connected to human civilization.
Returning to Theroc, and seeing the utterly ruined planet she hadn’t thought she’d loved in the first place, tortured her heart. She didn’t want to witness the devastation of her childhood home—the burned trees, lost lives, and shattered dwellings. She didn’t want to think of a defiant Reynald standing atop the worldforest canopy, trying to protect his world from the hydrogues—and failing.
She couldn’t stay here.
The next morning, as dawn broke, she dressed herself in the ambassadorial robes that old Otema had given her so long ago. She had made her decision, following her heart and her conscience in spite of what others expected of her. Her parents wanted her to stay on Theroc, as did Basil—though for completely different reasons. None of those reasons were legitimate for Sarein. They were lies. She could not do this.
She drew a deep breath, and walked out to find her parents. Many Therons were already working in the misty dampness of early morning, gathering and potting healthy treelings for export from Theroc. The Beneto golem who stood with them turned his perfectly sculpted face to look at Sarein.
Idriss and Alexa wore old garments from when they had been the leaders of their people, but now their faces were smudged with soot and dirt. Idriss looked at her brightly. “Sarein, you look lovely.”
Her mother’s smile faltered. “What is it, Sarein? You look so serious.”
“I have a serious matter to discuss. I know you want me to stay and become the next leader of Theroc.” She stopped next to the golem, standing straight. “But I can’t do that, any more than Beneto could—neither the old Beneto, nor this new one. It isn’t in either of us. It...wouldn’t be right.”
“What do you mean?” Idriss scratched his black beard. “Of course it would be right. Your mother and I are retired. You’re the next in line, and we need you here.”
Tears sprang to her eyes and threatened to spill out, but she controlled them. “Theroc needs me more elsewhere.” Even now as she stood out in the open, the charred wood, shattered trees, destroyed villages, and haunted expressions were more than she could bear. Every breath