Second Chance - Jane Green [127]
In marrying Marcus, Holly tried to change who she was. Passion hadn’t ever served her well, she decided. She wasn’t going to be black and white any more. She was going to live in shades of grey. So much healthier, she thought. Now, she decided, she was thinking like a grown-up. So she suppressed her passion. Neither loved nor hated. Mostly she just existed.
And now, since last night, she feels as if Will has awoken feelings in her she didn’t know she still had. She trusts him enough to be honest with him about those feelings, never thinking that he might not feel the same way. Never thinking that Maggie didn’t tell her to be careful with Will because Maggie doesn’t love her son, but because Maggie knows that the one thing guaranteed to send Will running for the hills, quite literally for that matter – Thailand, New Zealand, Vietnam – is adoration.
Maggie remembers who Holly was. She knows who Holly is. She still sees the stream of passion bubbling away underneath and knows full well that if anyone could bring it to the surface, it would be Will.
Maggie is the one person who knows about the night that Tom and Holly slept together. Maggie had held her breath with anticipation, fighting the excitement that made her shiver inside, for she had always hoped that Tom and Holly would get together, had always thought they had the ability to bring out the best in each other, to be one of those couples that could change the world.
Tom was too young then. He wasn’t ready. Maggie always hoped that time would work its magic, that they would find their way back to being lovers again through their friendship, but then Marcus had come along, then Sarah, and she knew that was one wish she would have to set aside.
And now Will. That she had never imagined. Although, naturally, she is not surprised. But her fear is that once Will has unleashed a passion in Holly, he will not be able to deal with it.
She doesn’t know what she has done wrong, but Will has always been frightened of commitment.
Others say he just hasn’t met the right woman, and she is willing to accept that may be so. But there are those other times when she knows she has babied him too much, given him unrealistic expectations that have taken away any responsibility he may have had to deal with, in case it caused him discomfort or pain.
If she were to walk past the tea shop today, look inside and see Holly and Will, Holly gazing adoringly up at Will, resting her head on his shoulder as she strokes his hand and turns his head towards hers for a kiss, Maggie would groan.
‘Oh God,’ she would whisper. ‘Not again. Please not Holly.’ Other people might look at Will and think he feels the same way, but not Maggie. And she is, after all, his mother. She is the woman who knows him better than anyone else in the whole world.
Chapter Twenty-seven
The old Land Rover bumps over the driveway as Holly, Saffron, Olivia and Will head back home with the boot filled with food for tonight’s dinner and, of course, Saffron’s prized Cotswold cottages.
There is another car in the driveway as they pull up to the house. From afar, Holly catches her breath, but it couldn’t be… could it? A black Mercedes, a recognizable number plate.
‘Whose car is that?’ Saffron wonders out loud. ‘Doesn’t look like the plumber’s.’
‘No.’ Holly’s heart sinks to her knees. ‘It’s Marcus.’
Her first instinct is to hide. Childish, she knows, but she doesn’t want to see him, doesn’t want to face him, wants to continue to pretend, as she has been pretending these last few days, that she has no husband, that she is as free and single as Will.
Oh God. Will. How difficult this will be. How uncomfortable. Is it possible that Marcus will be able to see the guilt in her eyes? Is it possible he will look at her and know – sense – that she has been unfaithful?
Although she is still telling herself she has not been unfaithful. If ever she were impeached, she thinks wryly, she knows what she would say: ‘I did not have sex with that man.’
She turns her head, aware that Will is looking at her.
‘You okay?’ he mouths,