Second Chance - Jane Green [129]
The sun is dipping slowly behind the bare branches of the trees lining the edge of the field, and Holly looks over at the sky, thinking that under different circumstances the peace and beauty of this scene would redeem her soul.
Holly loves walking. Loves exploring. Was in heaven in Gloucester with Will, not just because she was with Will, but because they were wandering around, chatting, going into shops that caught their eye, exploring narrow lanes that were off the beaten track, finding unexpected tea shops and making the time to go in and have tea.
This was how she lived her life before Marcus. She loved nothing better than exploring or going for long walks in the country, with or without friends. She always dreamt of having someone to share this with, someone who would happily meander through the streets with her, explore, be her partner and companion in everything she did.
But Marcus hates walking. Hates doing anything much other than working and occasionally shopping, but only in expensive shops where he is treated as he deems appropriate. Bond Street became their regular Saturday outing, not for any reason other than it kept Marcus happy.
They would go on holiday, and Holly would ask him if he wanted to go for a walk, and his answer was always no. Last summer they went to Key West, and Marcus sulked the entire time because Little Palm Island was fully booked, and they ended up staying at the Ocean Cottages, which Marcus thought was beneath him. He complained bitterly to the front desk manager about their room and was upgraded to a suite, which he still thought was horrendous. It ruined their trip.
He walked up Duval Street with her, hurrying her along each time she wanted to stop at a bar where live music was pouring out and scores of people milled around looking as if they were having fun. All except Holly and Marcus.
She peered longingly into those bars. ‘Can’t we just sit at the bar and have a beer?’ she pleaded, but Marcus sniffed disdainfully. ‘The music’s much too loud, Holly. You think you’d enjoy it but, trust me, you’d be asking to leave in two minutes.’
He didn’t want to go on the tour of Hemingway’s house. Nor did he want to explore the hidden gardens, or the beautiful old houses tucked away. So she went on her own while he stayed in the hotel and worked on the computer.
And now, strolling across the field, Holly thinks about how different they are. How different they have always been. And she wonders why she never admitted it to herself sooner.
‘We have to talk,’ Marcus says eventually, his voice still strained. Gruff and tough. The Marcus she has always known.
‘Okay,’ Holly says slowly. She doesn’t want to be the one to talk. She wants to listen first, to hear what he has to say.
Marcus takes a deep breath. ‘I didn’t mean what I said on the phone,’ he says quickly. ‘I thought I meant it at the time, but I…’ He tails off, then looks over at her for a second, showing his distress. ‘I never thought you would still go.’
Holly knows this. Knows that Marcus was employing the same bullying tactics he always has, fully expecting Holly to back down the way she always has. This time, though, for the first time, it didn’t work.
There is a long silence as Marcus waits for Holly to respond. She doesn’t. She doesn’t yet know what to say.
‘Holly,’ he says again, and this time he places a hand on her arm to stop her, to force her to look up at him. ‘I love you,’ he says pleadingly. ‘I don’t understand what’s happening to us. I don’t understand why you came here when you knew how important it was to me that you didn’t.’
I know, thinks Holly. I have always known how important it is that I obey you.
‘But that doesn’t matter now,’ Marcus says. ‘I’ve forgiven you. And I want you to come home now. I want us to be together again.’
‘You don’t get it, do you, Marcus?’ Holly is incredulous. ‘This isn’t about me coming down here or disobeying you. This is what I was trying to tell you that night we went for dinner.’
‘What night we went for dinner?’ Marcus genuinely doesn’t remember. He doesn’t know