Second Chance - Jane Green [138]
‘You’re amazing.’ Holly shakes her head, unable to resist a smile. ‘Even though you’re shit-faced, you’re just… I don’t know whether to thank you or never talk to you again.’
‘Trust me,’ Saffron falls into Holly’s hug, ‘I had to be shit-faced to do what I just did,’ and she snorts with laughter, knowing she will be forgiven, before snuggling down next to Holly and falling into a deep, drunken sleep.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Holly leaves the house early, doesn’t want to talk to anyone this morning. Marcus has cancelled seeing the children – an urgent work thing – so she takes them down to the riding stables they had passed down the road, and spends an hour there, pretending to be normal, pretending to be happy as they feed the ponies Polo mints and let them nuzzle in their pockets.
She doesn’t want to see anyone. Not Will. And not Saffron. What she really wants to do is climb back into bed, pull the covers over her head and not come out again until she remembers what normal is.
How stupid she was, she realizes, to think that she, like Julia, would have done her grieving in the marriage. How naive to think the hardest part was over, that everything from here on in would be hearts and flowers.
‘Mummy?’ Oliver asks on the way back to the house, going via the bakery for cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate. Holly would have left this morning, knowing it’s time to get back to London, but she is bringing Olivia back in the car, and Olivia’s morning sickness tends to abate somewhat by mid-afternoon, hence this wait.
‘Yes, darling?’
‘Are you and Daddy going to be in divorce?’
Holly almost jumps with shock. ‘What do you mean, darling? Why are you asking that?’
‘Well, there’s a girl in my class, Jessica, and her parents are in divorce, and if we’re here with you and Daddy’s not, then I was thinking that maybe you’ll be in a divorce.’
Holly crouches down so she’s on eye level with Oliver. ‘Oliver, did Daddy say something to you?’
Oliver shrugs and looks away.
‘Oliver, it’s okay. You can tell me anything.’ Holly tries to keep the anger out of her voice.
‘Well… Daddy did say that he wanted to be here with us but you wouldn’t let him and that it was up to you if we came home. So is it, Mummy? Will you let Daddy stay?’
Holly stands up and tries to take a deep breath. She thought Marcus was bigger than this, thought that they would both try to protect the children, put them first, not involve them in a game of he said, she said. Clearly she was wrong.
Bastard. Fucking bastard.
‘Oliver,’ she crouches down again, looking him straight in the eye, ‘sometimes mummies and daddies need to have a little time apart. It’s like when you have an argument with Jonny, and both of you decide you’re not talking, but everything’s always fine after a few days.’ Oliver nods. ‘Well, that’s like Daddy and me. We’re all taking a holiday and Daddy could stay here but he has to go back to work, and the most important thing is that Daddy and I both love you very much, and, if we are taking a little holiday from Daddy, it’s not because of anything you’ve done, okay?’
Oliver nods, not really understanding, but wanting now to move on to something else.
‘Okay, darling? I love you.’
‘I love you too, Mummy.’ His voice is muffled as Holly wraps him in a tight hug, opening her arms to include Daisy. ‘I think we probably ought to go back,’ she says, not knowing what will be waiting but knowing the time is up.
Her phone rings on the way home. Marcus.
‘Yes?’ Her voice is terse.
‘Holly, I need to explain. I didn’t do anything last night, Saffron just jumped on me and started kissing me, it was nothing to do with…’
‘You think I believe that?’ Holly hisses softly so the children don’t hear, trying to sound angry, upset. Trying not to smile, for she believes Saffron, and she can see how this works to her advantage. ‘You think I didn’t see your arms around her? How many other times have you done this? How many other women have there been?’