Second Chance - Jane Green [43]
‘Are you sure? I feel like I’ve just invited myself.’
‘Well, you have. But that’s okay. We weren’t doing anything anyway. It will be lovely.’
‘I’m supposed to be dropping Oscar back at Jenny’s at five. Unless you want to do it with kids.’ Olivia looks over at where Oscar and Oliver are bonding on the top of the ship, barricading it so Daisy can’t get up, and as Daisy starts to wail, Holly looks back at Olivia with a wry smile.
‘Oh I think definitely without,’ she says.
Daisy stumbles over, her face dissolving in tears. ‘The boys are being mean to me,’ she says as Holly pulls her onto her lap and makes a face at Olivia.
‘Yes,’ Olivia concurs. ‘Definitely without.’
By the time they get back home – three pains au chocolat, two hot chocolates, and one cup of tea later – Marcus is sitting at the kitchen table with a cafetière full of coffee, classical music wafting softly from the speakers in the wall and the papers spread out in front of him.
‘Hello, my darling children.’ He smiles, putting the paper down and opening his arms wide for his giggling, excited children to run into. ‘I’ve missed you this week. Oh my goodness, Daisy, have you grown two inches since Tuesday?’
‘No!’ She giggles. ‘Maybe just one inch.’
‘Well, you look much much taller. And Oliver, where did those muscles come from?’ He squeezes Oliver’s spindly little forearm gently.
‘I’ve been practising my push-ups,’ Oliver says proudly. ‘And I’m very good at gym at school. My gym teacher says I’m the best in class.’
‘Well, that is good news, isn’t it? I can tell!’ And Marcus looks over the children’s heads at Holly and winks at her, and Holly can’t help but smile.
At times like these, when Marcus is loving, and kind, and gentle, Holly knows that it will be fine. That she didn’t make a wrong decision, that perhaps it is possible that she will spend the rest of her life with him. There are things missing, undoubtedly, but perhaps what they have is enough.
How could she possibly split up their family when he has the capacity to be such a good father? Yes, he is mostly an absent father, but nothing lasts for ever and, perhaps, as the children get older, he will realize how important it is to be around for them, to leave work early to get to the children’s shows at school or the PTA evenings or just home to put them to bed.
At times like these, Holly knows why she married him. He is a good man. He may want a different lifestyle than Holly, but she is such a good chameleon that it is not a huge hardship to step into the role he expects, and surely the pay-off is worth it. He is a good husband, a good father, a good provider.
He is steady and reliable, the very opposite of her own parents. Everything about Holly’s life is safe and stable, exactly what she had grown up craving, vowing she would have when she was married and had children.
But there’s no passion, no excitement, no spark.
So what?
Doesn’t that inevitably disappear after a while anyway? And so what if it wasn’t there in the beginning? There are other things surely that make up for that…
‘Oh I met Olivia at the park,’ Holly says. ‘My old friend from school, remember? I’ve invited her over for supper.’ A pause, as she remembers how much he dislikes impromptu invitations unless they have been issued by him, and she tenses, her shoulders stiff as she prepares herself for his disapproval, prepares to phone Olivia and call it off.
‘Is that okay?’ she asks hopefully, the strain almost audible in her voice.
‘It’s fine!’ he says cheerfully, and Holly feels her shoulders sink with relief. ‘I could do with a good evening,’ he adds. ‘Anyone else we should invite?’ This is when Marcus throws her, when he is unexpectedly generous, inclusive, warm. ‘It might be fun to have a proper dinner party. I could see if Richard and Caroline are around.’
Holly’s heart sinks. A boring old colleague of Marcus’s.
‘You’ll like her,’ Marcus says. ‘She’s a fashion journalist, very outgoing, interesting, I think.’
‘It’s just that