Second Chance - Jane Green [80]
‘And Marcus doesn’t?’
Holly snorts. ‘What do you think?’
‘Well, yes, okay. I see your point.’
‘What do you think of Marcus?’ Holly asks suddenly. ‘I mean, I know you hardly know him, but what impression did he make on you? Could you see us together? Do you think he’s the right man for me?’
‘No way, Holly.’ Olivia laughs and shakes her head. ‘That’s one road I won’t be going down. The last time this happened, my friend Lauren had left her husband, who was the biggest jerk you’d ever met, and I spent weeks telling her how much better off she was and how awful he was, not to mention how all her friends completely hated him, and the next thing you know she’s back with him and she cut me off entirely, has never spoken a word to me since.’
‘So you think he’s a complete jerk?’
‘No! I didn’t say that. I’m not saying anything.’
‘Yes, well, if you thought he was wonderful and that he and I were made for each other, you’d have no problem saying it, would you? So I think I can read between the lines.’
‘All I’ll say is that I don’t quite understand the two of you together. You just seem like very different personalities; but hey, opposites attract and all that, and I’ve certainly come across other couples who are like chalk and cheese, but they’re madly in love and that seems to overcome everything.’
‘So you think he’s a pompous arse?’ Holly offers a wry smile, knowing it’s true.
‘What about the other one?’ Olivia shakes her head, refusing to comment. ‘Does he have a name? Could he, in fact, be someone I might know?’
Holly turns bright red.
‘I know.’ Olivia sighs. ‘I knew there was something with you and Will. Every time you mention him, which, by the way, you do an awful lot, just in case you hadn’t realized and were doing it with Marcus, but every time you mention him you go all sort of dreamy.’
‘So what do you think about it?’
‘I think Freud would have a thing or two to say about that. We lost one of our best friends, and you’re obviously feeling unhappy or unfulfilled by other things in your life, so I wonder if it’s a possibility that you might be transferring that, projecting it or whatever the hell it’s called, onto his brother.’
‘Does that mean you don’t think it’s real? And if it were just that, how come you’re not feeling anything for him?’
Olivia burst out laughing. ‘Your logic seems a little off-kilter, my love. Will’s not my type in the slightest, but I’m just worried that it’s a crush that has emerged because of losing Tom, or at least is perhaps stronger because of Tom, and I wonder whether it’s actually something that should be causing you to question your marriage.’
‘Freud or no Freud, though, what if I’d be much happier with Will, or someone like him? What if I did marry the wrong man?’
‘Do you think you’d be happier with someone like him?’
‘Well… no.’
‘Why not?’
‘Well, he’d probably drive me mad. You know him, for heaven’s sake. He’s thirty-five years old and doesn’t have a proper job – he’s a carpenter slash beach bum. He travels abroad for six months, sleeping on beaches, or camping out on friends’ sofas. He’s clever and funny and amazingly sexy, but you couldn’t find a worse proposition for a husband if you tried.’
‘So husband-material aside, what makes you think you might be happier with someone like him?’
Holly is quiet for a while as she thinks. Then eventually she looks up at Olivia, her voice small, almost breaking. ‘I just miss having a friend. I miss having a partner. I feel like Marcus and I are two ships that pass in the night. And more than that, I worry that we are just so completely incompatible and that I’ve spent my married life trying to be this… this wife he wants me to be, but that it isn’t me, it’s not the life I wanted, it’s not how I want to spend the rest of my life.’
‘So what do you want? What do you want that’s different from what you have? Because, Holly, from where I’m sitting, what you have is pretty damn