Second Chance - Jane Green [93]
And yet… it is so very hard for her to find the willingness given that she has switched off, has, almost without realizing it, absented herself emotionally and mentally from her marriage. The only move left to make is physical.
And it is so hard given that the only person occupying her thoughts, twenty-four hours a day, is Will.
Their emails and occasional lunches have progressed to phone calls. When things happen to Holly during the day, if the children make her laugh, or she reads something interesting, or she is thrilled with herself for a new card design, the very first person she calls – the only person, in fact – is Will.
Her initial discomfort at her attraction to him has waned somewhat. She still thinks he is the most handsome man she has ever seen, but she has grown comfortable with him. They are able to tease each other, she is able to reveal things to him she has never told anyone else, and certainly not Marcus.
There are things in her past that Marcus would find abhorrent, shameful or disgusting. Stories he could never enjoy. He never enjoys hearing about who Holly was before she became his wife. Who the real Holly is.
‘What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?’ Will asked her one day when they were having lunch.
Lunch has become a somewhat regular occurrence these days. It feels safe to her: friends meet for lunch all the time, and there is nothing that needs to be read into lunch.
She is also mindful of Maggie’s advice. As humiliated as she was at having been ‘caught’, she did hear Maggie when she told her to be careful. Not that she can help the way she feels, but she certainly doesn’t have to act upon it.
‘I hate those questions.’ Holly rolled her eyes. ‘Why would I possibly tell you something that’s completely embarrassing? And anyway, I can never remember things like that.’
‘Oh go on. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.’ He grinned at her, knowing she was going to talk.
Holly groaned. ‘Oh God. I can’t believe you’re going to make me tell you something embarrassing. Okay. One time I was in Jamaica on holiday…’
‘How old were you?’
‘Sadly, old enough to know better. I was twenty, I think. Maybe twenty-one. I was in a bar with some guys we’d met at the beach that day who seemed really nice. I ordered a rum and Coke, and instead I got a huge glass of every conceivable alcoholic drink you can imagine, with Coke splashed in for colouring.’
‘So you didn’t drink it, right?’
‘Yes, I bloody drank it. I’ve never been a big drinker, and I’ve always hated rum. I was just drinking it because everyone else seemed to drink rum and Coke, and it never occurred to me that it was particularly disgusting because of the mix.’
‘So let me guess, you passed out?’
‘Well, yes, but not before jumping up on stage to take part in a wet T-shirt competition, snogging about eight men in the club, then projectile vomiting from the stage onto the entire front row.’
‘Wow!’ Will leant back, his whole body shaking with laughter. ‘Holly. That’s really disgusting.’
‘Yeah, well. Told you.’
‘Quite like the idea of the wet T-shirt contest, though… Fancy a rum and Coke?’ As he said it, he started to gesture the waiter over, and Holly yelped and smacked him on the arm.
‘Ha bloody ha.’ She grinned. ‘Your turn.’
Will looked all wide-eyed and innocent. ‘I don’t have one.’ He shrugged. ‘Seriously. I’m a bloke. There’s very little that embarrasses me.’
‘You big old liar. There must be something.’
‘Okay. Not the most embarrassing, but last year my friend Nick got married and we all went down to Brighton for a stag weekend. Bear in mind, we were all rugby players at school, and this was all the old team, so we knew we were in for a weekend of heavy drinking. So… we spent the afternoon doing a pub crawl, and then someone had the brilliant idea of playing rugby on the beach wearing just underwear.’
‘So far it’s not very embarrassing.