Second Helpings_ A Jessica Darling Novel - Megan McCafferty [138]
Makes Peace with Pineville
I bet that a lot of you think I’m going to stand up here and go off on one of my anti–Pineville High diatribes, the likes of which I used to publish in the school paper, before I was unfairly silenced by the administration. I must admit that I’ve been looking forward to the opportunity to express my often controversial opinions in front of a captive audience, since I was unable to do so all year long.
But I’m not going to do that today. I’ve vented enough about the shortcomings of this school. What I haven’t done is consider what I gained from my experience here, and how going to Pineville High School has actually benefited me.
For the past four years, I’ve wanted nothing other than to escape this place. I couldn’t wait to graduate, go to college, and get out into the real world that exists beyond Pineville. I longed for the place where I could finally be free of the social inequities and teen trivialities that dominate high-school life.
But you want to hear something insane? I don’t think I would change a thing about my high-school experience. Not even the really bad stuff, like my best friend moving away, or my grandmother’s death. If you’re sitting next to two people having heart attacks right now, they are no doubt my parents, as this is probably particularly shocking news to them.
No doubt Pineville would have been a more pleasant place without all the backstabbing, social climbing, and cattiness. But the Jessica Darling standing in front of you today is the result of everything I’ve been through up to this point. Change one event, make a left instead of a right, and who knows where, or more specifically, who I might be at this moment. And here’s the thing: I like who I am. I like the person I’ve turned out to be, and I know I’m not done evolving yet.
I believe that what we get out of life is what we’ve set ourselves up to get, so there’s no such thing as an inconsequential decision. Our destinies are the culmination of all the choices we’ve made along the way, which is why it’s imperative to listen hard to your inner voice when it speaks up. Don’t let anyone else’s noise drown it out.
Looking back on my four years here, I’ve realized that my lowest moments were the direct result of paying more attention to what other people were saying than listening to my gut. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ever take someone else’s advice, or turn to others for guidance— just be sure they have your best interests at heart.
If there’s one thing I’ve realized throughout my four years of Pineville High, it’s that the real world, whether we like it or not, is right here, right now. All of this, every day, is important. Everybody matters. Everything we do has an effect on others, directly or indirectly, whether we realize it or not.
But even those who aren’t looking out for you can end up helping you in the end. And as much as I don’t like to admit it, I have to thank the Pineville High School Class of 2002 for the influence you’ve had on my life. For better or for worse, you have helped me become the person I was always meant to be: me. Yes. Me.
Coming in April 2006 from Crown Publishers, Jessica Darling is finally back!
charmed thirds
June 1st
Dear Hope,
Whoever said that you can’t go home again was wrong. You can go home again. Just don’t be surprised when it totally sucks.
And so, I wait for the express bus to Pineville, New Jersey. To fake-and-bake salons and acrylic talons. To confederate flagged pickups. To DWI guys with suspended licenses peddling their fat asses on tiny bicycles. To the cross-breeding of pineys and bennies. To certain death by cerebral asphyxiation.
To home, bitter home.
I’m exhausted from dragging myself and two duffle bags down to 42nd Street. I took the subway, of course; it only feels like I trudged seventy-four blocks on foot. The first time I left Columbia’s campus for the Port Authority bus terminal—almost six months ago, for winter break—I thought there would be a waiting area with a section of seats attached to TV sets bolted into