Second Helpings_ A Jessica Darling Novel - Megan McCafferty [63]
Len turned green. “Um. Flu. Um. We’re not ready for a show.”
Bridget jumped up and down with excitement.
“What’s the point of being in a band if you don’t perform?” Marcus asked.
“We perform.”
“For the four walls of wood paneling in your basement. But I’m talking about people.”
“I don’t know. Um,” said Len, glancing in my direction.
“I think it’s a great idea, Len. I can’t wait to hear Chaos Called Creation.” I said the last few words with an unintentionally sarcastic emphasis that resulted in a spontaneous exchange of looks between Bridget and Marcus. Len didn’t notice.
“Um. Okay. Where?”
Silence all around.
“I got it,” Bridget exclaimed. “Bruiser’s house.”
Groans all around.
“Her house is the only one that’s big enough,” Bridget said. “And she’s, like, the only person I can think of who will be able to promote the party on such short notice.”
Bridget was right. Sara’s huge oceanfront homestead was the only domicile in the Pineville school district that actually looked like those colossal party houses in the movies. Everyone else threw parties in dark, damp, cramped basements or similarly crowded quarters with inadequate pissing facilities. Bruiser had become quite the party-throwing expert. She knew to set up several booze stations throughout the house so no one would have to wait in line to get liquored up. She knew to put party slip-covers on all the furniture, and to put temporary rugs on the hardwood floors and other high-traffic areas. She knew to lock all her parents’ valuables in an off-limits room, usually her dad’s home office because it didn’t have a bed, and all beds were always put to use at one of Bruiser’s parties. So I hear. I had stopped going to her bashes a long time ago.
“You’re right. Um. But she’ll never do it.”
“She wished death by overdose on Marcus, remember?” I chimed in.
Marcus turned to Bridget and said, “These two make a perfectly pessimistic pair.”
“They, like, totally do,” Bridget replied.
Len and I just stood there awkwardly, praying they would get back to the original subject. Bridget finally did.
“Look, Bruiser will do it because she’ll, like, be worshiped for rescuing homecoming. She’ll find a way to take credit for the whole idea. Be persuasive—you know, like the way you used to be in your editorials. Only not such a downer.”
“Me? Why me?” Why was the fate of Pineville High’s homecoming weighing heavy on the shoulders of the most antisocial person in the history of the school? Besides Taryn Baker, that is.
“Because you’re the only one of us she deigns to talk to,” Marcus said.
The moment he said it, I knew he was right. Of course, I’d have to do it, since I was the only one of us on speaking terms with Sara—and that’s using the phrase loosely.
“You’ll just have to, like, kiss her ass a lot.”
“Lucky me.”
Protestors straggled into the classroom, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” Len said.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I have to kiss Bruiser’s ass, too.”
“Um. No. I mean that our plans are ruined. And. Um.”
Oh, my tragic fate: I’ll never attend a Pineville High homecoming dance. He had no idea how much I didn’t give a damn.
“I’m not crushed, really,” I said. “We can still have fun, I guess.”
“We can?”
Fun is a foreign concept to both of us. We really do make quite a pair.
“Look, I didn’t go last year either and I didn’t care one bit. I even went out with my mom to buy an anti-homecoming dress—”
Oops. As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I didn’t want anyone else in the room to remember the blue shirtdress I wore last New Year’s Eve, a relic from the Paleolithic era of high-school memory.
“That’s it. Um. We’ll call it the Anti-Homecoming. If you don’t mind me swiping your idea.”
“No, there’s no copyright on it.”
“Um. Copyright. That’s so funny.”
Nothing indicates un-funniness more than the phrase “That’s so funny” unaccompanied by even the quietest peep of legit laughter. Len does this a lot with me.
“You can even wear. Um. Your Anti-Homecoming Dress.”
Marcus and Bridget nearly fell out of the window when he said that. I almost jumped.
Oh, poor Len.