Secret Love - Brenda Jackson [22]
When the impact of what had transpired between them hit him, he took a step back. He’d always been able to hold back and control his desire. But not this time. In the instant that he had touched his tongue to hers, his masculine urges had become dominant.
And he didn’t like it.
Diamond Swain, he thought further, was not the type of woman he wanted to get involved with on any level. Now or ever. She was more than just a sophisticate, she was totally dangerous to his peace of mind. Jessie had literally destroyed his belief that ranching and city women mixed. For a brief time, he had forgotten how he had learned the hard way not to become involved with a woman who could never accept him for what he was—a man born of the land. There was no way there could ever be a future for him and Diamond. She was who she was and he was who he was. Nothing would ever change that, so why go through the hassle. He knew that having a nostrings affair with her was out of the question when there was a chance he could lose his heart completely.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he said apologetically, knowing it sounded lame and out of place when deep down he wasn’t sorry at all.
Diamond reached up and touched his lips with her fingertips. “Well, I’m glad you did it. Good night, Jacob.”
Speechless, Jake watched her go into the cabin and close the door.
Later that night while in bed, Diamond thought about her afternoon at Jake’s house. At first he hadn’t seemed pleased when Blaylock had invited her to stay for dinner, but had been a gracious host nonetheless. To avoid getting in anyone’s way, she had found solitude in his huge study.
In addition to being a place where he managed the business side of the ranch, the room had also been filled with a large collection of various books, several antiques and photographs of his family. From studying the numerous framed pictures that decorated one huge wall in his study, it was evident that he was a man who truly treasured his family. And if the photographs were any indication, the Madaris family was a rather large one. It was one he was truly proud of.
Diamond thought about her own family. Up until her fourth birthday, her mother had tried using her as a pawn to milk money out of her father. He had ended her cruel game by fighting for custody of her and winning. Her young mother, who had lived a wild and reckless life filled with parties and shifting from one man to another, had died less than a year later when her lover, a depressed stuntman, had shot and killed her in a jealous rage and then had turned the gun on himself, ending his own life.
Diamond had spent a lot of her early years with her paternal grandmother in North Carolina since Jack Swain traveled most of the time. Jennie Swain had been everything a grandmother should be. She was a warm, loving person, sensitive and considerate of others’ needs; a lady who was adored by anyone who knew her. One of the things her grandmother enjoyed doing was giving plenty of hugs. She always said that a hug a day would keep whatever ails you away.
Diamond smiled. Sterling claimed she had inherited her grandmother’s trait of being a huggy person, and she knew he was right. She would instinctively hug most people she met. It was something that sometimes got misread as a come-on to some men in Hollywood who saw a hug as an invitation to something else. Over the years, she’d had to limit her hugs to those she felt comfortable in hugging.
Diamond released a huge sigh. With the passing of her grandmother four years ago, that left only her and her father, and they were a long way from being a family. Deep down she believed he loved her, he just had a strange way of showing it at times. Over the years, she had gotten used to his ways. However, that didn’t stop her from wishing things were different between them. She couldn’t help but envy the relationship Jacob had with his family. It must be a wonderful feeling to be a part of such a close group of people.
Diamond touched her lips