Secret Love - Brenda Jackson [51]
Feeling he had failed her and that he would continue to fail her as long as their secret stood in the way, Jake walked out of the room.
“Where do you think he is, Blaylock?” Diamond asked as she paced the kitchen floor. She had awakened midmorning to find Jacob wasn’t there. And he had not returned for lunch with the rest of his men.
“The boy got a lot on his mind. He’ll be fine. There are things he needs to work out, Diamond.”
Diamond gazed over at the older man curiously. “What things?”
Blaylock shrugged. “Things that aren’t any of my business.”
Diamond walked over to where Blaylock stood, stirring ingredients into a huge pot as he prepared dinner. She laid a hand on his arm. “Blaylock, everything that happens around here is your business. So please tell me what’s going on with Jacob.”
Blaylock stared for a long moment at the intense plea in her eyes before saying, “The boy is blaming himself for what happened to you in California.”
Diamond lifted a bemused brow. “Why would Jacob blame himself? He wasn’t even there.”
“And that’s what’s eating at him, girl. As your husband, he feels he should have been there to protect you, and he wasn’t.”
She frowned. She hadn’t thought Jacob would feel that way. “But he couldn’t be there with me. He knows we have to be discreet to keep the secret safe. He—”
Blaylock waved his hand to halt her words. “Maybe that’s what’s causing the problem, this secret of yours. Think about it for a minute. A man, a real man, would want to protect what’s his, and Jake feels that when it comes to you, he can’t do that.”
Diamond looked at Blaylock, assessing and weighing everything he had just told her. “Did Jacob tell you this?”
“He didn’t have to. I’m a man. Besides, I know how Jake thinks. This pretend marriage of yours is finally getting to him.”
“It’s not a pretend marriage,” Diamond defended, raising her chin. “We have a real marriage.”
Blaylock lifted a brow. “By whose definition? Definitely not by most people’s. Think about it, Diamond. Then think about the kind of man Jake is. He’s had to make a lot of adjustments to keep your secret. And he’s had to make a lot of sacrifices. He and his family have always been close, but he rarely invites them here for extended visits since he’s never sure when you might drop in.”
Diamond looked at him, taken aback. She knew how close Jake and his family were. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
Blaylock gave a rueful shrug. “Figured you hadn’t.”
A quick stab of pain pierced Diamond’s heart. “I only wanted to protect him from the ugliness of my career,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want his privacy invaded.”
“I know, but what you failed to consider is that when two people marry they accept it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. Trust me. Jake can handle a bunch of annoying reporters.”
“But I wanted to spare him that. I didn’t want our love exploited. Nor did I want his family subjected to anything either.”
“Both Jake and the Madaris family can handle their own. When you married Jake, you also married into his family. They’re a family that you have denied yourself the chance to get to know. They are a good group of people who’ll welcome you with open arms and who’ll stand by you and Jake, no matter what.”
Diamond bit her lip. “Oh, Blaylock, I never stopped to consider any of this. I’ve never been a part of a real family before. I think of you and the men as my family, but that’s as far as I’ve allowed myself to take it.”
“Then you’re cheating yourself short. I know Jake’s brothers, all five of them. They are good men and they were all lucky to marry good, decent God-fearing women who gave them, for the most part, good, responsible children. Give yourself a chance to know them.”
He gazed at her thoughtfully. “They will be right proud of the choice Jake made for a wife.”
Diamond ventured a smile with Blaylock’s compliment. “But they may not be too