Seduction, Westmoreland Style - Brenda Jackson [50]
And she had been a virgin.
The thought of what they’d shared—that she hadn’t shared it with another male—made it that much more special to him. She was one of the few women around who had waited until they’d been ready, and whose decisions to explore their sexuality with a partner had not been driven by society’s standards, but by their own desire to abstain until they felt it was right for them. And evidently Casey hadn’t thought the time was right until last night.
He glanced down at her. She was in a deep sleep and uncovered, displaying her nakedness for him to see and enjoy. He was tempted to bend forward and lick the nipples of her breasts but he knew doing so would lead to other things and he would continue licking her elsewhere which would eventually awaken her and after a night of none stop lovemaking, she needed her rest.
And he needed to think.
For a brief moment last night when she had panicked at the thought of them not using birth control, he had considered telling her the real reason why he hadn’t been concerned about her getting pregnant. But all it took was for him to remember the confession he’d made to Lynette. And in knowing the risk of doing that, how he had painstakingly made the decision at twenty-three to never father a child and had ensured that fact by having a vasectomy.
He loved children; had always wanted some of his own, but it would not have been fair to bring a child in to the world knowing what medical problems he or she could be up against. He had assumed that Lynette would understand, but the letter he received weeks after she’d left had explained that she was a woman who wanted to one day be a mother and only a child born from her own body, would do. Simply stated, she could not marry a man who could not give her that.
Lynette’s rejection had hurt deeply and knowing that most women probably felt as she did—and wanted to bear their own children and not entertain any thoughts of adoption—he decided to live out the rest of his days indulging in meaningless affairs, and to put an end his dream of ever meeting a woman he would marry.
Even now, as he studied Casey’s nakedness, he knew he would give anything to one day see her pregnant with his child. The idea had crossed his mind the moment she brought up the fact they hadn’t used birth control. But beyond that, he could see her as some child’s mother, and as long as that vision stood out in his mind, there could be no place for her in his life. Other than here in his bed.
He wanted to scream out in anger, hit something in despair, but he had discovered years ago to accept any blows life dealt you and move on, not look back, not indulge in pity parties because somewhere in this universe was someone in a worse situation than you.
Casey was his present but she could never be a part of his future. He knew it and he would find a way to accept it. What they were sharing was short-term. It was that simple and he intended to keep it uncomplicated. This arrangement would work out quite nicely for him and he intended to make sure it worked out in a positive way for her as well.
He heard her sigh and looked at her face to see she had awakened. A tempting smile touched the corners of her lips. “Good morning, McKinnon,” she said in a sleepy voice that was filled with enough passion to cause heat to flow up his spine and his erection got harder. “What’s up?”
“Umm, funny you should ask,” he said, responding with a wicked chuckle before leaning over and capturing her lips.
Chapter 11
McKinnon was no longer avoiding her.
That thought made Casey smile as she dismounted Prince Charming after a good day’s workout. Two weeks had passed since the night of her party when he had made love to her all night long. Even now, the thought of that night sent heated shivers through her.
Of course it was a given that during the day he had his work to do and she had hers, but at night it had