Sellevision - Augusten Burroughs [39]
How quickly one’s life could change, fall apart. If Max hadn’t insisted on a preshow latte, it never would have spilled into his lap in the first place, thus setting into motion the chain of events that led to his subsequent misery, whereby he was left with no options except boyfriend shopping in the late afternoon at a suburban Philadelphia book retailer, where instead of a boyfriend he gained only knowledge of Chow Chow tongues.
Replacing The Right Dog for You on the shelf, Max made his way to the Philosophy & Spirituality section.
As Leigh headed for the checkout counter, a copy of Women Who Love Selfish Bastards tucked under her arm, title facing inward, she thought she saw Max reading a book in the Witchcraft & Occult section. Looking closer, she saw that it was, in fact, Max.
Feeling slightly guilty that it had been partly due to his misfortune that she was now on daytime as opposed to overnight (of course, the fact that she was romantically involved with the head of broadcast production probably didn’t hurt things), along with the fact that she had always really liked Max, she decided to walk over and say hello.
Spells and Incantations for 2000 and Beyond nearly flew out of Max’s hands when Leigh tapped him on the shoulder.
“Oh, Max, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you, I just saw you and thought I’d say hello.”
Tapping the book against his chest and closing his eyes for a second, Max then smiled warmly, genuinely pleased to see her. “I guess I, I just wasn’t expecting to be touched, that’s all.” Then he added, “But hey, it really is great to see you. How have you been? How’s Sellevision?”
Leigh faked a smile. “Everything’s been okay, you know, same-old, same-old.”
“Yeah? Well I’m glad to hear stuff’s going well for you.”
“Max, I feel awful about what happened to you. I really think Howard totally overreacted.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s probably going to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I mean, my agent is talking with the Discovery Channel and Lifetime, plus there’s some anchor spot open at KRON in San Francisco, so . . .”
“That’s great, Max, really great. How exciting.”
“Yeah, exciting. You know, change and everything. Change is good.”
Noticing the title of the book in his hands, Leigh said, “I didn’t know you were interested in . . . the occult.”
Fumbling to put the book back on the shelf, Max said “Uh, well, I’m not actually. I was just, you know, sort of . . .” He watched as the Italian in bicycle shorts he had been tailing for the past twenty minutes left the aisle and began heading toward the front exit. “ . . . just looking around. For a gift. Anyway, what’s that book you’ve got tucked under your arm?”
Immediately realizing it had been a mistake not to ditch the book before approaching, Leigh sheepishly held up the title.
Max laughed. “I’ve read that.”
Leigh’s eyes widened and she smiled. “You read this?”
“Uh-huh. Last year.” Confessing, Max told Leigh, “I got involved with my chiropractor who was divorced from his wife. And then not really divorced, but separated. And then not really separated, but expecting their third child.”
“Oh, Max, how awful. I’m sorry.”
He brushed the memory away with his hand. “Nah, don’t be, I’m over it. Thanks to this,” he added, tapping Leigh’s book.
Not wanting to go into the details of her own relationship, Leigh decided on a small fib: “Yeah, my sister is involved with something really similar, and it’s just killing me to see all the pain she’s in.”
Max gave Leigh a knowing look. “Sure, I understand. I hope it helps . . . your sister.