Septimus Heap, Book One_ Magyk - Angie Sage [62]
“I want you to go back with the rat, Silas,” announced Marcia.
“What?” said Silas. “Now?”
“I am not certified for passengers, Your Honor,” the rat addressed Marcia hesitantly. “In fact, Your Most Graciousness, and I do say this with the greatest of respect—”
“UnSpeeke, Rattus Rattus,” snapped Marcia.
The Message Rat opened and closed his mouth silently for a few more words until he realized that nothing was coming out. Then he sat down, reluctantly licking the cherry and parsnip delight off his paws, and waited. The rat had no choice but to wait, for a Message Rat may leave only with a reply or a refusal to reply. And so far the Message Rat had been given neither, so, like the true professional he was, he sat patiently and gloomily remembered his wife’s words to him that morning when he had told her he was doing a job for a Wizard.
“Stanley,” his wife, Dawnie, had said, wagging her finger at him, “if I was you, I wouldn’t have nothing to do with them Wizards. Remember Elli’s husband, who ended up bewitched by that small fat Wizard up at the Tower and got trapped in the hot pot? He didn’t come back for two weeks and then he was in a terrible state. Don’t go, Stanley. Please.”
But Stanley had been secretly flattered that the Rat Office had asked him to go on an outside job, particularly for a Wizard, and was glad for a change from his previous job. He had spent the last week taking messages between two sisters who were having an argument. The messages had become increasingly short and distinctly ruder until his previous day’s work had consisted of running from one sister to another and actually saying nothing at all, because each wished to tell the other that she was no longer speaking to her. He had been extremely relieved when their mother, horrified by the huge bill she had suddenly received from the Rat Office, had canceled the job.
And so Stanley had quite happily told his wife that, if he was needed, he must go. “I am after all,” he told her, “one of the few Confidential Long-Distance Rats in the Castle.”
“And one of the silliest,” his wife had retorted.
And so Stanley sat on the table among the remains of the oddest supper he had ever eaten and listened to the surprisingly grumpy ExtraOrdinary Wizard telling the Ordinary Wizard what to do. Marcia thumped her book down on the table, rattling the plates.
“I have been going through Zelda’s The Undoing of the Darkenesse. I only wish I had had a copy back at Wizard Tower. It’s invaluable.” Marcia tapped the book approvingly. The book misunderstood her. It suddenly left the table and flew back to its place in Aunt Zelda’s book pile, much to Marcia’s irritation.
“Silas,” said Marcia, “I want you to go and get my KeepSafe back from Sally. We need it here.”
“All right,” said Silas.
“You must go, Silas,” said Marcia. “Our safety may depend upon it. Without it I have less power than I thought.”
“Yes, yes. All right, Marcia,” said Silas impatiently, preoccupied with his thoughts about Simon.
“In fact, as ExtraOrdinary Wizard, I am ordering you to go,” Marcia persisted.
“Yes! Marcia, I said yes. I’m going. I was going anyway,” said Silas, exasperated. “Simon has disappeared. I am going to look for him.”
“Good,” said Marcia, paying little attention, as ever, to what Silas was saying. “Now, where’s that rat?”
The rat, still unable to speak, raised his paw.
“Your message is this Wizard, returned to sender. Do you understand?”
Stanley nodded uncertainly. He wanted to tell the ExtraOrdinary Wizard that this was against Rat Office regulations. They did not deal in packages, human or otherwise. He sighed. How right his wife had been.
“You will convey this Wizard safely and properly by appropriate means to the return address. Understood?”
Stanley nodded unhappily. Appropriate means? He supposed that meant that