Seven habits of highly effective people - Stephen R. Covey [102]
In Win-Win Agreements, consequences become the natural or logical results of performance rather than a reward or punishment arbitrarily handed out by the person in charge. There are basically four kinds of consequences (rewards and penalties) that management or parents can control --financial, psychic, opportunity, and responsibility. Financial consequences include such things as income, stock options, allowances, or penalties. Psychic or psychological consequences include recognition, approval, respect, credibility, or the loss of them. Unless people are in a survival mode, psychic compensation is often more motivating than financial compensation. Opportunity includes training, development, perks, and other benefits. Responsibility has to do with scope and authority, either of which can be enlarged or diminished. Win-Win Agreements specify consequences in one or more of those areas and the people involved know it up front. So you don't play games. Everything is clear from the beginning.
In addition to these logical, personal consequences, it is also important to clearly identify what the natural organizational consequences are. For example, what will happen if I'm late to work, if I refuse to cooperate with others, if I don't develop good Win-Win Agreements with my subordinates, if I don't hold them accountable for desired results, or if I don't promote their professional growth and career development.
When my daughter turned 16, we set up a Win-Win Agreement regarding use of the family car. We agreed that she would obey the laws of the land and that she would keep the car clean and properly maintained. We agreed that she would use the car only for responsible purposes and would serve as a cab driver for her mother and me within reason. And we also agreed that she would do all her other
jobs cheerfully without being reminded. These were our wins.
We also agreed that I would provide some resources --the car, gas, and insurance. And we agreed that she would meet weekly with me, usually on Sunday afternoon, to evaluate how she was doing based on our agreement. The consequences were clear. As long as she kept her part of the agreement, she could use the car. If she didn't keep it, she would lose the privilege until she decided to. This Win-Win Agreement set up clear expectations from the beginning on both our parts. It was a win for her --she got to use the car --and it was certainly a win for Sandra and me. Now she could handle her own transportation needs and even some of ours. We didn't have to worry about maintaining the car or keeping it clean. And we had a built-in accountability, which meant I didn't have to hover over her to manage her methods. Her integrity, her conscience, her power of discernment and our high Emotional Bank Account managed her infinitely better. We didn't have to get emotionally strung out, trying to supervise her every move and coming up with punishments or rewards on the spot if she didn't do things the way we thought she should. We had a Win-Win Agreement, and it liberated us all.
Win-Win Agreements are tremendously liberating. But as the product of isolated techniques, they won't hold up. Even if you set them up in the beginning, there is no way to maintain them without personal integrity and relationship of trust.
A true Win-Win Agreement is the product of the paradigm, the character, and the relationships out of which it grows. In this context, it defines and directs the interdependent interaction of which it was created.
Win-win can only survive in an organization when the systems support it. If you talk win-win but reward win-lose, you've got a losing program on your hands.
You basically get what you reward. If you want to achieve the goals and reflect the values in your mission statement, then you need to align the reward system with these goals and values. If it isn't aligned systematically, you won't be walking your talk. You'll be in the situation of the manager I mentioned earlier who talked cooperation but practiced competition by creating a "Race to Bermuda" contest.