Shiloh and Other Stories - Bobbie Ann Mason [46]
Carolyn was baffled. Her father had never told a joke at the table in his life. He sat at the head of the table, looking out past the family at the cornfield through the picture window.
“Pay attention now,” he said. “The second year Christmas rolled around again and it was the second monk’s turn to say something. He said, ‘You know, I think you’re right. The taters is lumpy.’ ”
Laura Jean and Jim laughed loudly.
“Reach me some light-bread,” said Pappy. Mom passed the dish around the table to him.
“And so the third year,” Dad continued, “the third monk got to say something. What he said”—Dad was suddenly overcome with mirth—“what he said was, ‘If y’all don’t shut up arguing about them taters, I’m going to leave this place!’ ”
After the laughter died, Mom said, “Can you imagine anybody not a-talking all year long?”
“That’s the way monks are, Mom,” said Laura Jean. “Monks are economical with everything. They’re not wasteful, not even with words.”
“The Trappist Monks are really an outstanding group,” said Jim. “And they make excellent bread. No preservatives.”
Cecil and Peggy stared at Jim.
“You’re not eating, Dad,” said Carolyn. She was sitting between him and the place set for Kent. The effort at telling the joke seemed to have taken her father’s appetite.
“He ruined his dinner on nigger toes,” said Mom.
“Dottie Barlow got a Barbie doll for Christmas and it’s black,” Cheryl said.
“Dottie Barlow ain’t black, is she?” asked Cecil.
“No.”
“That’s funny,” said Peggy. “Why would they give her a black Barbie doll?”
“She just wanted it.”
Abruptly, Dad left the table, pushing back his plate. He sat down in the recliner chair in front of the TV. The Blue-Gray game was beginning, and Cecil and Ray were hurriedly finishing in order to join him. Carolyn took out second helpings of ham and jello salad, feeling as though she were eating for Kent in his absence. Jim was taking seconds of everything, complimenting Mom. Mom apologized for not having fancy napkins. Then Laura Jean described a photography course she had taken. She had been photographing close-ups of car parts—fenders, headlights, mud flaps.
“That sounds goofy,” said one of the children, Deedee.
Suddenly Pappy spoke. “Use to, the menfolks would eat first, and the children separate. The womenfolks would eat last, in the kitchen.”
“You know what I could do with you all, don’t you?” said Mom, shaking her fist at him. “I could set up a plank out in the field for y’all to eat on.” She laughed.
“Times are different now, Pappy,” said Iris loudly. “We’re just as good as the men.”
“She gets that from television,” said Ray, with an apologetic laugh.
Carolyn noticed Ray’s glance at Iris. Just then Iris matter-of-factly plucked an eyelash from Ray’s cheek. It was as though she had momentarily forgotten about the separation.
—
Later, after the gifts were opened, Jim helped clear the tables. Kent still had not come. The baby slept, and Laura Jean, Jim, Peggy, and Mom played a Star Trek board game at the dining room table, while Carolyn and Iris played Battlestar Galactica with Cheryl and Deedee. The other men were quietly engrossed in the football game, a blur of sounds. No one had mentioned Kent’s absence, but after the children had distributed the gifts, Carolyn refused to tell them what was in the lone package left under the tree. It was the most extravagantly wrapped of all the presents, with an immense ribbon, not a stick-on bow. An icicle had dropped on it, and it reminded Carolyn of an abandoned float, like something from a parade.
At a quarter to three, Kent telephoned. He was still at the lake. “The gas stations are all closed,” he said. “I couldn’t get any gas.”
“We already ate and opened the presents,” said Carolyn.
“Here I am, stranded. Not a thing I can do about it.”
Kent’s voice was shaky and muffled, and Carolyn suspected he had been drinking. She did not know what to say, in front of the family. She chattered idly, while she played with a ribbon from a package. The baby was awake, turning dials and knobs on a Busy Box. On TV, the Blues picked up