Shot in the Heart - Mikal Gilmore [171]
“Your honor, you can keep a person locked up too long, the same way that you can keep them locked up long enough. What I am saying is, there is an appropriate time to release somebody or to give them a break. Of course, who’s to say when this is? Only the individual himself really knows and it’s more a matter of just convincing somebody. There have been times when I felt if I had a break right then I would probably never have been in trouble again, but like I said, I don’t feel that I have ever had a break from the law. Last September, I was released from the penitentiary to go to school in Eugene at Lane Community College and study art, and I had every intention of doing it. One day I’m in the pen for nine years and the next day I’m free, and I was kind of shook. Things have changed and it was different, man, and nothing prepared me for this. While I was waiting to register at the college. I got drunk. Well, I didn’t get drunk, I had a couple of drinks. I realize this was a pretty stupid thing to do, and I was afraid to go back to the halfway house with booze on my breath. I thought I would be taken back to the pen immediately, and to be honest, I guess I kind of wanted to continue drinking. It tasted kind of good.
“Anyway, I split and went to Portland, out of fear of going right back to the penitentiary. I honestly intended to do good down at Lane, like I said. I wanted to study art and that is what I was there for. After I left it occurred to me to go back, but I didn’t. Freedom tasted pretty good and I hadn’t been out for a long time. It’s a pretty nice world out there. It wasn’t long before I was broke and I spent a couple of days looking for a job but couldn’t find one. I didn’t have any work background. When you are free you can afford to be broke for a few days and it doesn’t matter, but if you are a fugitive you can’t afford to be broke at all. I needed some money and I wanted to leave, I wanted to go far away, I wanted to change my name, I wanted to get a job, and I wanted to just live, and I needed some money, and I committed a robbery. When I committed this robbery I had no intentions of hurting anybody, and that’s the truth.
“I stagnated in prison a long time and I have wasted most of my life—at least half of it. Probably the best years of my life. I have had a brief taste of freedom and to tell you the truth I had almost forgotten what I am missing. I am not a stupid person although I have done a lot of stupid and foolish things, but I want freedom and I realize full well that the only way I can have it and maintain it is to quit breaking the law. I never realized that more than I do now. If you were to grant me probation on this sentence you won’t be turning me loose right now. I still have time to do. On the other hand, you can sentence me to additional time, but like I said, I have had about two years of freedom since I was fourteen and I have got problems, and if you give me more time I am going to compound them. That is all I have to say.”
The judge sat quietly for several moments before giving his reply. He told Gary that he thought he had stated his history and his case effectively, and he had been moved by his plea. But the crime that Gary was appearing for—armed robbery—was a serious one, and he had already been convicted once for this same crime. Given the severity of the offense—given that another man’s rights had been violated at the end of a gun—the judge felt he had no option but to impose an additional sentence. All together, for the escape and the robbery, Gary would be sentenced to another nine years. The judge promised, however, that if Gary’s performance at the prison was satisfactory in the time ahead, then the court would not oppose a possible parole at an