Shot in the Heart - Mikal Gilmore [219]
His name was Paul, and he was walking with his father. The next thing I knew, I saw Paul running across the street and then he was hit by a large black car. I remember his father panicking, and I remembered just then that I had forgotten to get my brother Gary at school. I was supposed to bring him home with me but for some reason that I can’t remember, I did not.
Seeing Paul get hit by the car shocked me and confused me. I thought that it was Gary. I ran all the way back to the school screaming that my brother had been killed by a car. I remember some lady with dark hair in her front yard, looking at me with sadness. I found Gary and I was still upset. I told him what happened and we both went home together. I told Mom what had happened. She just looked at me with disgust. She said: “Clean up for dinner. And don’tforget your brother again.” I learned then that when you have something that is bothering you, you never tell your parents about it…
Around this same time Gary and I both had newspaper routes. It lasted for a while, but then Gary got tired of his route, and so one day instead of delivering his papers he just threw them away. That was the end of his route. He got fired, and I remember that Dad was so upset, he beat Gary terribly, for a long time. None of us kids were perfect. But poor Gary, he just seemed to be a little less perfect…
My brother Mikal came into our lives when we were living on Crystal Springs Boulevard. It was before we moved to Utah. Gary and I were listening to the radio when the telephone rang. Dad answered it. A couple of minutes later he came into the room and said, “Well, boys, I don’t know how you’re going to take this, but you have a new brother.” Gary and I were both old enough to know there was a baby on the way, so it was no surprise, but we were still both happy about it.
I remember that a few days later we went somewhere up above 23rd Avenue in northwest Portland, where we picked up both Mom and our new brother, Mikal. I remember that the baby was a lot smaller than I expected, and he was kind of pruned up, but I took a real liking to him. And Dad had found somebody he really loved. Dad really liked Mike, and so did I. I can remember one time when Mike got sick and Dad called the doctor. When the doctor got there he said it was nothing bad, which made us happy. After all, Mike was the family’s baby. However, the doctor did say that he was going to have to give Mike a shot. I remember that it bothered me so much that I had to go outside while he gave him the shot.
I also remember that Mikal used to have a little crib with real high walls around it, so that he could not get out. And no one would ever let him out except me. Every time he would see me he used to get all excited and reach up for me to take him out. As soon as I would lift him up, I remember that his legs would start to go a million miles a minute. By the time he reached the floor, zip, he was gone. I mean everywhere, all over the house, in a flash. It was like he wanted everyone in the family to know that he was free.
11. My days are past, my purposes are
broken off, even the thoughts of my heart.
12. They change the night into day: the
light is short because of darkness.
13. If I wait, the grave is mine house: I
have made my bed in the darkness.
14. I have said to corruption, Thou art my
father: to the worm, Thou art my mother,
and my sister.
15. And where is now my hope? As for my
hope, who shall see it?
16. They shall go down to the bars of the
pit, when our rest together is in the dust.
— BOOK OF JOB, CHAPTER 17
THE TRIAL
A LAST DREAM:
I am attending Gary’s trial. We are in a small, stately chamber in a Utah courthouse, and the room is full of grim, unforgiving faces. They are judges.