Silence in Hanover Close - Anne Perry [33]
And there must be respect. What could she possibly share with someone who did not possess the courage to fight for what he believed, or the largeness of heart to be moved to pity? She would quickly grow to despise a man whose imagination never went beyond his own concerns.
She caught herself with a start of horror and embarrassment. What on earth was she thinking? Marriage? She must be mad! Jack needed to marry into money; she knew that from his presence at Cardington Crescent. That was why Uncle Eustace had originally invited him: as a suitable husband for Tassie, he was to provide the family connections, and she the money. But of course Emily herself was many times wealthier than Tassie March, now she had inherited George’s estate. And that ugly thought must be forgotten. She was a wealthy widow. The fortune hunters would begin to come, circling like vultures round the dying, waiting their turn: not too soon, or they would appear unseemly and spoil their chances, not too late, or they would be beaten to the prize.
The thought was so repellent it was sickening. Her first time in the marriage market, Emily had enjoyed the game. She had everything to win, and she had won. She had deserved to; she had played the game superbly. She had all the innocence and arrogance of inexperience.
Now she felt so much less sure of herself. She had tasted failure, very recently, and she had everything to lose.
Was Veronica York in the same position? Had she turned over these same thoughts in her mind? Her husband had been murdered, and presumably she was heir through him to whatever fortune the Yorks possessed. Did she now regard admirers with suspicion, in her imagination devising tests for them, to see if their love was truly for her or merely for her means?
What monumental arrogance! Jack Radley had never mentioned marriage, nor given Emily the slightest indication that it was what he intended or wished. She must control her thoughts, or she would end up saying something idiotic in front of him and betraying herself completely, which would make this entire situation impossible!
If only there were an urgent crime that she and Charlotte could come to grips with, something real and undeniably important, that would drive all this ridiculous speculation and dreaming out of her mind! How could any woman of the least intelligence occupy all her thoughts with giving orders to servants who knew perfectly well what to do anyway? The parlormaid could have easily organized the running of a household for one woman and a small boy!
So it was with very mixed and somewhat turbulent emotions that Emily greeted the butler the following morning when he came into the withdrawing room to announce that Mr. Jack Radley presented his compliments. He was in the morning room and wished to know if Lady Ashworth would receive him.
She swallowed and sat still for a moment, composing her features; it would not do for the butler to see her confusion.
“What an odd time to call,” she said casually. “There is a matter he was looking into for me; perhaps he has some news. Yes, Wainwright, ask him to come in.”
“Yes m’lady.” If Wainwright noticed anything at all it was absent from his smooth face. He turned slowly and went out of the room, as though he were part of a procession. He had been with the Ashworths since he was a boy, and his father before him, as head gardener. Emily still felt uncomfortable around Wainwright.
Jack came in a moment later, unhurriedly, as decorum required, but there was a lightness to his step and his face was eager. As always he was fashionably dressed, but he wore his clothes with such ease his elegance seemed a happy accident rather than something contrived. It was a look men paid fortunes to achieve.
He hesitated