Silent Screams - C. E. Lawrence [116]
He hung up, his face red, and stalked out of the office. They could hear him through the closed door, chewing out the duty officer for putting the call through.
“But I didn’t know it was a reporter,” they heard the cop say. “He told me he was—”
“I don’t care what he told you!” Chuck bellowed. “Next time use your head!”
Lee looked out the window at the bright splash of sunlight on the windowsill. Even as the days were growing longer, everyone’s temper was getting shorter, as they all realized that time was slipping away.
Chapter Fifty-two
When Lee returned to his apartment later that afternoon, the first thing he did was sit down at the piano. The sight of the notes on the page comforted him. Music was a language he had spoken since childhood, a language of sound and rhythm and color. It went directly to a part of him that was beyond the reach of words.
He began a Beethoven sonata, enjoying the pure physical pleasure of his fingers on the keyboard. He played the adagio movement first, lingering on the graceful phrases, the swell and rise of the melodic line. Then he plunged into the allegro passage, channeling his rage and frustration through his fingertips onto the keys. He couldn’t help thinking about what Nelson had said. There were fourteen Stations of the Cross, and the Slasher was only up to number four.
During the dark days, there were times when music alone could reach him, when it was the only thing that passed through the wall of his depression, to lift him back into life.
He was dimly aware of the sound of the phone ringing, but he blocked it out and continued until he finished the sonata. Then he rose, went to the answering machine, and listened to the message.
The minute he heard Diesel’s voice, he knew something was terribly wrong. He listened to the message in a fog of impending horror. He was vaguely aware of hearing the words “Eddie…subway train,” and “killed instantly.”
No, not Eddie…
He dialed the number showing on his caller ID. Diesel answered after one ring.
Fifty minutes later he was sitting in McHale’s, nursing a pint of Saranac Amber, waiting for Diesel and Rhino to show up. The beer, with its dark, nutty flavor, reminded him of Eddie. Maybe the demons that had plagued him since the war—the napalm-scarred corpses of his nightmares—really had come to call on him one final time, luring him down onto the subway tracks. Even Eddie’s chattiness was just another camouflage for his pain. In his tales of wartime horrors, he always appeared to leave something out. Lee had the sense that things happened in Vietnam that even now he couldn’t come to grips with.
But suicide? Lee didn’t believe it. Something else was at work.
When Diesel and Rhino arrived, Diesel’s eyes were red rimmed. Rhino wore dark glasses, his white skin pasty in the weak light coming in through the grimy windows. They both slid into the booth across from him without a word. They were both wearing dark jeans and very white T-shirts under black leather jackets.
“Sorry,” Diesel said. “I had a few people to call—you know, to tell them.”
“What happened?” Lee asked. Their phone conversation had been brief, confined to the where and the when, leaving out the uncomfortable question of why.
Diesel shook his head. “I don’t know yet. It’s only been a couple of hours so far. They haven’t even released his name to the press yet.”
“How did you find out?”
Diesel leaned back in his chair. “I have a few contacts here and there.”
As usual, Rhino did not speak. He took off his glasses, cleaned them carefully, and put them in his jacket pocket. His hands were surprisingly delicate for such a powerful-looking man. Lee noticed that his eyes, too, were bloodshot.
“You want anything?” Lee asked them.
“Let us get this round,” Diesel said as Rhino rose from his seat and headed for the bar.
“Thanks,” Lee said. He could use a second drink.
“Eddie didn’t even like riding the subway,” Diesel said. “Always said he hated standing on that