Silent Screams - C. E. Lawrence [132]
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s me.” It was Kathy. “Just called to say good-bye.”
“Why?”
“I’m going back to Philadelphia tomorrow. The Vidocq Society monthly meeting. My dad invited me, remember?”
“Oh, right. Sorry—I forgot.”
“No problem. My place is being renovated, so I’ll be staying with my dad. I’ll call you.”
“Okay, great.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.”
“Well, make sure you get enough rest,” she said, sounding unconvinced.
“I’m going to go lie down right now.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you later in the week.”
“Right.”
“I’ll miss you.”
“Me too.”
After they hung up, he looked out the window at the Orthodox Ukrainian church across the street. A ray of moonlight fell on the huge round window above the door of the church, lighting up the colors of the stained glass like a kaleidoscope.
He was reminded of the sun glinting off the windows of the World Trade Center, windows that would never reflect light again, and of the three thousand souls that lay buried in the debris. The sheer arbitrariness of the attack still stunned him. But for the grace of…God? Fate? Nature? What would you call it if you’d rejected traditional Christian notions of faith? A leap of faith—more like a dive, a plunge into the abyss. And yet, he thought, surrender could be sweet—so sweet that intelligent, educated young men had surrendered themselves, or so they imagined, to the will of Allah.
He wondered what was in the minds of the hijackers as they carried out their implacable plan. For, he was convinced, it was not so different from what was in the mind of his own Holyman, the Slasher.
Chapter Sixty
He looked around the restaurant in Grand Central Station. These were all nice people, surely, with families and mortgages and dogs they had gotten from rescue shelters—scruffy terriers with sweet, lopsided faces, sporting red bandanas, who liked to chase Frisbees in the park on Sunday afternoons. They were the kind of people that advertisers targeted on television: middle-class families looking to upgrade their dishwashers, their laptops, their life insurance policies. They had aging parents in managed-care facilities they were concerned about, college tuition to save up for, IRA accounts to roll over.
But he existed outside of their world. His was a half-lit netherworld of dark drives and even darker deeds. He glided in and out of their cheerful daytime lives like a ghost, an unwelcome visitor whose mission was to disrupt their daily ordinariness to satisfy his appalling fantasies.
If he could not be one of them, then he would live to remind them of that, to let them know they were not safe—not in their fortified SUVs, their multiplex houses with the elaborate security systems, or their fabulously expensive office buildings with the Japanese fountains and designer furniture fresh from the showroom. He would strike wherever they lived, worked, or played. He would invade their safety like a virus, a worm, a bacterium. They could not know his world, but he would know theirs.
He glanced at his watch—it was time to leave. His train would be boarding for Philadelphia soon.
Chapter Sixty-one
Lee promised himself that he would call Nelson right after he had a short nap on the couch. His head had been pounding now for hours, his neck was stiffening up, and he felt nauseous. He took one of the pills Dr. Patel had given him, and tried not to think about the doctor’s face when he announced his intention to leave the hospital. He lay down on the couch and pulled the green afghan, the one Laura knitted him when she was sixteen and he was on his way to his freshman year at Princeton, over his legs. As he drifted off, he saw a thin ray of moonlight reflecting off the silver wind chimes Kylie had given him last Christmas.
He awoke to a ringing bell. In his dream it was the wind chimes ringing, but when he regained full consciousness he realized it was his phone. He threw off the blanket and staggered over to the phone.
“Hello?” His voice was slurred, ragged.
“Lee?” It was his therapist.
“Oh, hello, Dr. Williams.”
“Are you all right?