Sisterhood Everlasting - Ann Brashares [54]
When she’d organized her face again, she turned to Effie. She cleared her throat. It took a lot for her to voluntarily bring up the subject of Effie’s job at OK! magazine, because Effie’s tales of low-ranking celebrity and the absurdly vain girls she worked with made Lena want to pull her own hair out. And furthermore, Effie would find it stimulating.
But here, under two and a half hours into Effie’s visit, Lena had come to that. She sighed again and sat down on the floor. “So how’s work?”
We are masters of the unsaid words,
but
slaves of those we let slip out.
—Winston Churchill
Lena submitted to dinner at a restaurant. She picked a place that was bustling, cramped, and loud, the kind of place that didn’t take reservations, so as the evening wore on you found yourself sitting and eating among standing-up people who were hungry and wanted your table. She knew it would be hard on her nerves, but she also knew it could potentially spare her the devastation of Effie’s laser beams and gasoline fires.
First Effie ordered a martini and smoked salmon and then a shell steak and two glasses of expensive red wine. She was at least as poor as Lena, but she dressed a lot better and she had a real knack for taking advantage of free food. Lena wondered if her parents knew what kind of meal they were underwriting.
Lena had one glass of red wine, and halfway through it she felt red-faced and slightly woozy. She was beginning to find the Christmas decorations infinitely depressing. When had she last had a drink? She thought back to Kostos and the couch in her grandparents’ house. She put her hand on her red cheek.
The lights got dimmer and the music got slower. It was Ella Fitzgerald singing Christmas carols. Effie ordered a molten chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream for them to share.
“I’m happy to be with you, Len. You need your family at times like this.”
Lena looked around the room. Effie was getting sappy and serious just when the restaurant was clearing out. Just when Lena had imagined and hoped for noisy hordes demanding their table, the place had turned perfectly intimate.
“Like with Valia, you know. You were a big help to me. I really took her for granted. I really didn’t know how much she meant to me, how much she taught me.” Effie closed her eyes for several dramatic seconds and heaved a sigh. If Effie was talking about Valia, Lena knew that the dangerous subjects and God-knew-what-else couldn’t be too far behind.
Lena looked desperately at the door, wishing for the place to fill up. Where was everybody? What was wrong with this place? You couldn’t count on Providence for anything ever.
Effie looked like she was going to cry. She reached out her hand to Lena’s. “First Valia and then Tibby,” she said. “It’s really hard to believe.”
Lena was frozen. She felt an upheaval taking place somewhere down deep, and she hoped that if she stayed very, very still it could be contained. She thought of the time she’d gotten food poisoning from kung pao shrimp, how she lay completely still in her bed, suffering the nausea, hoping if she didn’t move it wouldn’t all have to come up.
Valia had been ninety-two. Tibby had been twenty-nine. Valia had had children and grandchildren, a restaurant to run, and a long happy marriage. Tibby, with her talent, her wit, her love, had been denied everything. Valia had lived a full life, while Tibby had suffered a secret hole in hers so devastating she couldn’t go on. Don’t move. Don’t move. It was going to come up.
“I’m really sorry about Tibby. I really am.” It was the martini and all the wine talking. Lena hoped her wine wouldn’t answer.
“I know how much you miss her, Len. I miss her too.”
“What. Are you. Talking about.” Lena’s words came through her clenched jaw. It couldn’t be contained. It was coming up.
“I am. I do. Tibby and I might have had a few conflicts, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her.”
Oh, God. Here it came. Lena was effectively leaning