Six Bad Things_ A Novel - Charlie Huston [47]
—That’s one of the things I need to be certain you understand. Whoever the money might have belonged to, and, believe me, I’ve done quite a bit of research on this, it is mine now. Sure, you could argue that ultimately it belongs to the depositors at the banks that the DuRantes robbed in the first place, but the insurance companies took care of those people long ago. After that, the most legitimate claim is the Russians, and for awhile they were committed to recouping, but after three years they pretty much gave up. They were ready to call it a day, write the money off, and kill your mom and dad out of principle. If you ever turned up later that would be great, but they were done looking. That’s when I knew it was time for me to get involved. See, what you do is, you look at other businesses for assets you can pick up cheaply, especially from businesses that are struggling, and, believe me, the Russian mob is not what it once was. They had their heyday in the nineties. I mean, who didn’t? But they’re just not cutting-edge anymore, not sharp, and the market wants you to be sharp. So I saw that they had this great asset, which is essentially ownership of a four and a half million dollar IOU, but no real plan for collecting on it. See what I’m saying? Great asset, but they don’t know how to make it work for them. I do. So, what I do is, I go to a guy I know and I make an offer. I’ll buy your IOU for one hundred thousand dollars. Well, they balk of course, but then, I give them the kicker: one hundred grand to secure the IOU, which means that I become the sole agent licensed to pursue it, and, if I recover the money, a guarantee that they’ll receive ten percent of whatever I recover, less the hundred they already have. But they keep that hundred no matter what I get my hands on. Well, hell, at that point they have nothing, so it becomes a no-brainer. And trust me, when dealing with the Russian mob, a no-brainer is the only kind of deal you can make. So they take the 100K, and take the guys who had been looking for you and put them to work making money again. And I put my plan into action.
The waitress brings the pot over again. He covers his cup with his hand.
—No more for me, sweetheart, I’m about to float away. You want anything else?
I shake my head. He smiles up at her.
—Guess that’s it, just the check when you have a sec.
—Got it right here, hon.
She scribbles on her pad, tears off the check, sets it on the table, and walks back to the register.
He looks at the check.
—Unreal. You know how much that omelet would be in New York?
He takes out a twenty and drops it on the table. Leeann comes to pick it up.
—Be right back with your change.
—It’s good like that, sweetie.
—Thanks.
—It OK if we hang out here just a little?
—Sure, long as you like.
She leaves. He smiles after her.
—Sweet lady. Where was I?
—Assets.
—Right. So now I have this asset, this IOU, but, and here’s the rub, no way to collect. Well, I’ve already spent a hundred thousand on this project, I’m not about to sink more capital into sending a bunch of headhunters out to find you. So what do I do? Do you know what I did?
—You had my parents’ house staked out until I came home.
—No. Because I had looked into that, and do you know what I found out? Stakeouts, a real stakeout in a suburban neighborhood, that is both constant and imperceptible, is very difficult and expensive. So that’s not it. Any other guesses?
—No.
—OK, here it is, this was my multimillion-dollar idea: I paid one of your parents’ neighbors to watch the house and call me when you turned up. Brilliant, right? I mean, not to blow my own horn, but this is a recurring expense of five hundred dollars a month with a possible, if not likely, return in the millions.
There’s no smoking in Mill’s, there’s no smoking anywhere in California