Slings and Arrows 01_ Sea of Troubles - J. Steven York [31]
“I’d love to, Data, but there’s a little problem. The captain left standing orders for me to require a blood screening before allowing anyone access to the shakedown logs, and you-uh- “
“Yes, Geordi?”
“You don’t have any blood, Data.”
“Sir,” Huff said, “I’ve been with Lieutenant Commander Data since he left his quarters this morning.”
La Forge nodded at her. “Thank you, Althea, but I still have my orders, assuming I can figure out how to implement them.”
Data tilted his head the way he did when he had an idea. “While I do not have blood, I do have lubricants and coolants, though those are generic fluids and a poor substitute for this purpose. I had, however, anticipated this problem, and I have a simpler and more definite solution to offer.” He reached up and pressed his fingers against the side of his head. There was a click and a soft hiss, and a section of his scalp slid smoothly outward. Data snapped the panel free and set it on the table.
They watched it for several moments. If Data were a Changeling, the separated part should have reverted to gelatinous form, but it did not.
Data looked at him. “If that is satisfactory?”
It should have been, but something was bothering La Forge, though he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. Still, Data had passed the test, and La Forge’s scans. You’re just being paranoid.
“That’s fine, Data.”
He punched his override code into the console. In response, the master shakedown logs appeared on the tabletop display.
“Thank you, Geordi. This may take some time. I do not wish to keep you from your work.”
“Sure.” He turned and started to walk back to the warp core, then hesitated. Everything looked right about Data, but he suddenly realized that not everything sounded right. As the access panel had snapped back into place on Data’s head, the little click just hadn’t been right. It was the sort of thing only an engineer would have noticed, but fortunately, La Forge was a very good engineer.
“Data,” he said, glancing back over his shoulder.
Data looked up curiously. “Yes, Geordi?”
“Why did the chicken cross the wormhole?”
He tilted his head. “Excuse me, Geordi? I do not understand.”
“It’s a joke, Data. Why did the chicken cross the wormhole?”
“I do not know.”
“To get to the other side.”
Data looked puzzled, but otherwise did not react.
“I am afraid I do not understand, Geordi.”
Geordi tensed, turned, and backed away several steps. This seemed like Data in almost every way, but a Data drawn from files and records, drawn by somebody or something that might have missed the information about Data’s recently installed emotion chip.
It suddenly occurred to him that he’d made the mistake of thinking of Data as a human being, and that there was yet another way to verify that he was not a Changeling.
He addressed the security escort. “Lieutenant, do a phaser sweep of Commander Data.”
Hearing the tension in La Forge’s voice, several other security officers moved toward them to investigate.
“Excuse me, sir?” Huff looked confused.
“He’s an android. It won’t hurt him. It wouldn’t hurt the real Data anyway.”
Data looked up at him and slowly smiled. “Oh, Geordi.”
Geordi realized the fake Data was reaching under the console for something. “Phaser! Now!”
Huff raised her rifle and fired, but the Changeling was too fast. It shifted to liquid form, shot up like a fountain, arched over onto a catwalk above them, then transformed into a ball and shot away almost faster than La Forge could follow.
While one of the security officers remained with La Forge, Huff and another one gave chase, but La Forge knew it was probably hopeless. Instead he bent to inspect the underside of the console where the Changeling had done-something. He found an open access panel exposing a rack of isolinear chips.
One was missing.
He tapped his combadge. “La Forge to Captain. The Changeling was just in engineering disguised as Data, and I’m afraid I gave it access to the shakedown logs. It was only for a