Slither - Edward Lee [49]
Loren almost got mad-something she'd never seen. "That's harsh and judgmental, Nora. I'm surprised that an academician such as yourself would make such a shallow invective. It almost sounds defensive, even insecure."
Nora laughed. "She's got bigger boobs than me-big deal. I'm not insecure about it. She's more attractive than me, lots of women are, but you know what? I don't care! I could shit care less and whistle Dixie at the same time. But since you're not just my assistantyou're a good friend-I only feel it proper to warn you."
He seemed defiant now, lower lip trembling at the challenge. "Warn me?"
"She's a textbook floozie who's wheeling for you. Don't let her pull the wool over your eyes. Girls like that eat guys up and spit them out like gum when they're done with them. And she'll do it to you if you let her."
Loren glared; now his lower lip was really trembling. "That hurts my feelings, Miss Perfect. I'm glad you have such confidence in my acumen with the opposite sex." His head bowed, almost as if he were about to sob.
Oh, jeez ... "Loren, I'm sorry, I only meant-"
His head jerked up in a grin and a loud clap of his hands. "Had you going, moron! Jesus Christ, I know she's a bogus, manipulating, saline-stuffed bitch. I'm just playing Poor Little Infatuated Nerd-Boy so maybe she'll feel sorry for me and give me a sympathy fuck. Believe me, I ain't looking to hold hands in the fucking park with that Paris Hilton wannabe."
Nora signed, relieved. "You're such a tool, Loren."
"Damn right, and a big, big tool at that-like a friggin' roll of cookie dough if you want to know the truth. I'll hump her so hard she'll sound like someone stomping on a squeak-doll."
"Loren!"
"Now shut up and flip over so I can put sunblock on your back. Otherwise you'll get redder than a-"
"Don't say fire truck!" she insisted.
"I was going to say scarlet bristleworm." He grabbed a tube of his own sunblock.
Sputtering, Nora flipped over on her belly. "I guess you're getting to be an expert at this."
"I'm an expert in everything," Loren claimed.
"I feel like chopped liver here."
"Why?"
.You were too busy rubbing all over Barbie, you didn't even stop to think that maybe your boss might need a back rub."
"And what's wrong with chopped liver?" he said, squirting lotion on her back.
She tensed a moment as his hands slid over some sunburned fringes, but then relief began to work in.
Loren chuckled. "I overheard Annabelle talking to a friend on her cell phone, and she referred to me as The Geek."
"Are you sure she wasn't talking about me?"
"Naw, you were Professor Dork."
"How flattering."
"And here's the best part-she's yacking away to her friend and eventually tells her that she's certain you and I are both virgins. How's that for a laugher?"
Nora smoldered and kept silent.
"What? I say something wrong?"
"No, just-"
"I'm no virgin, that's for sure. I've had sex a bunch of times, and my first one was with this foreign exchange student who stayed at my house while my brother went to Sweden. This girl was hot! She even-"
"Loren, I don't want to hear about your sex life!"
"Wow, you're really testy today," he said. "Guess Annabelle was right."
"What?"
"She also told her friend on the phone that you had permanent PMS."
Nora almost yelled, "That insufferable bitch! I'd like to mop my floor with her bleached-blond head!"
"Calm down," he urged, his finger daintily spreading the cool sunblock around her top straps. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
"No!"
"Are you a virgin?"
"No. Of ... course not! And even if I were, it's none of your business. Just put the damn stuff on my back, mouth shut."
"Sony." His fingers paused. "Wait, take this off before I goo it up."
My cross, she realized. Her grandmother had given it to her eons ago at her confirmation. She rarely ever took the tiny golden cross and chain off. "You take it off, I can't reach, and I'm too lazy right now to sit up."
He carefully worked the tiny catch and slid it off. "I've been working