Small Steps - Louis Sachar [31]
Armpit was amazed Kaira could get all the words out. There were three more verses, and each seemed to be faster than the one before it.
“Whew!” Kaira exclaimed when the song ended, and the audience laughed and applauded.
“Golly,” Kaira said. “So many of these songs seem to be about sex!”
This was greeted by hoots and more applause.
“You’d never guess I’m a virgin.”
The crowd went wild over that, and the guitar player made a noise that sounded like he popped a string.
Every part of the concert was carefully planned and scripted, but Kaira had never said that before. The words just came out of her mouth. For once, she was having fun. She turned and waved to Ginny and her friend. Ginny waved back, but her friend looked stunned, like a deer in headlights.
The band launched into the next song.
“I’m gonna take you for a ride,
And we’re gonna have some fun!
I’m gonna take . . .”
Armpit and Ginny turned and looked at each other. This had become their song. They rose to their feet and remained standing throughout the song.
“Whoo!” Armpit shouted.
Ginny laughed at him.
He held her hand as she twirled in a circle.
“I ain’t never been accused of goin’ too slow,
So hang on, baby, and don’t let go!
“Oh, I got no rearview mirror,
And none on either side.
Got no rearview mirror,
And none on either side.
Ain’t no lookin’ back, babe,
When I take you for a ride!”
When the song was over, Kaira announced that she’d like to introduce a couple of friends of hers. To Armpit’s horror, she turned to him and Ginny. He had a hard enough time just standing in the front of the room in speech class.
“Come on out,” she said, wiggling her finger at them.
Ginny stood up, but Armpit remained glued to his chair.
“You better go,” said Terry, the soundboard operator, “or it will just get worse.”
Armpit held Ginny’s hand as they walked across the stage, but it was hard to say who was helping whom this time.
“These are my friends, Ginny, and . . .”
Armpit thought she’d forgotten his name again, but she remembered at the last second.
“. . . Theodore. They almost didn’t get to see the show tonight. Some low-life ticket scalper sold them counterfeit tickets.”
Everyone booed.
“Well, I guess you ended up with pretty good seats after all, didn’t you?”
She held the microphone in front of Ginny.
“Yes,” Ginny said, then flinched, startled either by the sound of her amplified voice or by the cheers of the audience.
“So how do you like the show so far?” Kaira asked her.
“It’s awesome!” said Ginny, and everyone cheered in agreement.
“How about you?” Kaira asked, holding the microphone in front of Armpit.
He didn’t know what to say. “Awesome,” he echoed.
No one cheered this time.
“I think it’s awesome too,” said Kaira. “In fact, I think it’s the best damn show I’ve ever done!”
Cotton rat-a-tatted on the drums in agreement.
“So, Ginny, what’s your favorite song?”
Ginny didn’t hesitate. “‘Red Alert!’ ”
“You heard the lady!”
The lead guitar whined like a siren as the house rocked with Kaira’s biggest hit.
“I hear a w-w-warning sound
Every time you c-c-come around . . .”
She was dancing around Armpit and Ginny as she sang, and kept looking at Armpit as if he was the one she was singing about.
“Should you ch-chance to glance at me,
Threatens my security.”
He didn’t know what he was supposed to do.
Ginny was shouting “Red Alert!” right along with the backup singers, although he could only read her lips.
“Heart’s a-th-thumpin’!
Red Alert!
N-n-nerves a-j-j-jumpin’!
Red Alert!
All I hear is a s-s-siren sound.”
At last Armpit managed to ease his way back to the safety of the soundboard, taking Ginny with him.
“All systems are sh-shutting . . .
D-d-d-down!”
Kaira shouted, “Thank you very much! I love you!” and she and the band left the stage.
The crowd shouted for more, Ginny and Armpit right along with them. The lights remained dark.
After about five minutes they came back out and did “Just Hold On a Little Longer.” On the last line, “. . . And