Small Steps - Louis Sachar [38]
Kaira took off her flip-flops. “Do you want to play ditch the Doofus?”
“What?”
She stepped off the patio and raced across the lawn.
For a second he was afraid he was the doofus, but then he remembered that was what she called her bodyguard. He watched her leap over the concrete walkway and disappear down the hill.
He took off after her but lost control as he headed down the steepest part of the slope. “Look out!” he shouted at Kaira, who was now standing on a dirt path beside the river.
As he tried to put on the brakes, she grabbed hold of his arm, and together they spun around three hundred and sixty degrees.
Kaira’s face bounced hard against his shoulder.
“You all right?”
She laughed.
“That was close,” Armpit said.
Kaira smiled at him as she let her palm slide down his arm, then held his hand.
They walked along the dirt path, continuing to hold hands. “So you’re not worried I’ll try to kill you now that you ditched your bodyguard?”
“You?” asked Kaira. “Are you kidding? You’re such a wimp.”
Armpit pointed out the bridge with the bats.
“I don’t like bats,” said Kaira. “They’re creepy.”
“So, like has Fred ever had to save your life or anything?” he asked her.
“All you talk about is the Doofus!”
“I was just curious.”
“Mostly he just keeps people from getting too close to me. Of course, it kind of makes it hard to meet guys. I mean, what guy wants to go out with a girl and her bodyguard? You try to kiss her and you risk getting your head blown off.”
Did she squeeze his hand when she said the word “kiss”? If she did, it wasn’t a big squeeze. Just a little twinge.
What he should have said was “I’ll risk it,” and then kissed her. That would have been really smooth, but by the time he thought of it, it was too late. The timing was off.
They continued along the river.
“I get all kinds of weird letters,” said Kaira. “I’ve gotten seven marriage proposals! One guy claims to be a billionaire Arab prince.”
“You think he really is?”
“Why, you want to marry him?” asked Kaira.
Armpit laughed.
“They’re all freakazoids. There’s this one who calls himself Billy Boy, you know, like that song.” She sang very softly: “Oh, where have you been, Billy Boy, Billy Boy? Oh, where have you been, charming Billy?”
Hearing her voice while holding her hand was almost too much for him to take.
“He wants to marry you?” asked Armpit.
“No, he wants to kill me.”
“Really?”
“Seriously. He’s written like five letters so far, saying he’s going to break my pretty little neck. I even got one at this hotel.”
Armpit couldn’t help looking around behind him.
Kaira laughed. “It’s so lame,” she said. “He even cuts out little letters and glues them to the paper.”
“You’re not scared?”
“You’ll protect me.”
“Me? I’m a wimp.”
“So tell me about you,” said Kaira. “What are your big dreams? I mean, besides wanting to marry an Arab prince?”
“I don’t have big dreams,” Armpit said. “I just take small steps.”
He told her about the advice the counselor at the halfway house had given to him. The important thing was to take small steps and just keep on moving forward. “Life is like crossing a river. If you try to take too big a step, the current will knock you off your feet and carry you away.”
“That’s kind of poetic,” said Kaira.
“I didn’t make it up,” said Armpit.
“My manager tells me I need to take big steps,” she said. “I have to grab for everything I can get right now, because in a few years I could be all washed up.”
“I doubt that,” said Armpit.
“There’s this song I’m writing.” She sang again: “Britney Spears is old and gray—she turned twenty-five today. That’s really all I’ve got so far.”
“You write your own songs?”
“A couple. I wrote ‘Angry Young Man’ and ‘Damsel in Distress.’ ”
For a brief second he thought about asking her the words to “Damsel in Distress” but then thought better of it. It could only lead to his embarrassment.
“And then El Genius—that’s what my manager calls himself, El Genius—he had people kind of fix them up and arrange the music. He’s such a control freak. Sometimes I think he’s the one