Smokin Seventeen - Janet Evanovich [47]
“It’s possible. He could have taken a bullet for someone else. Or he could have been encouraged to operate in a gray area. Or he could have been fed bad information.”
“Or he could have been guilty?”
“Yeah, that, too. I checked on him. He had a good lawyer, and several people who were supposed to testify had a lastminute lapse of memory. And two other bank officials who were also accused of crimes took off for parts unknown.”
“I didn’t know any of that.”
“It wasn’t a hot ticket item with the press, but the whole deal was messy, at best.”
We wandered into the living room to watch TV and stood looking at Bob. He was sprawled on the couch, feet in the air, sound asleep.
“There’s no room for us,” I said to Morelli.
He hooked a finger into the neckline of my shirt and pulled me into the bedroom. “Guess we’ll have to find some other way to occupy our time.” He wrangled me out of my shirt and bra. He moved on to my jeans, got them to my knees and stopped. “What the hell?”
I followed his eyes to my granny panties.
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“Cupcake, complicated is your middle name.” He tugged my jeans entirely off and went for the granny panties. “It’s a good thing I’m Italian with a strong sex drive. A normal man would walk away from this.”
“It’s all your grandmother’s fault. She put the vordo on me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I don’t care if she put vordo, peanut butter, or mayo on you. These pants should get burned and buried.”
Morelli stripped the pants off me and flipped them out of the bedroom.
“Vordo is a spell,” I told him. “Your grandmother put a spell on me.”
“She’s a crazy old lady. Spells are her hobby.”
“It’s a bad hobby.”
“It’s harmless,” Morelli said. “Spells aren’t real.”
“Then how do you explain this huge pimple on my forehead?”
“Doughnuts?”
Okay, call me overly sensitive, but I’d just had my underwear insulted and been told I got a monster zit from eating doughnuts. Not stuff a naked woman wants to hear. Especially if it has some merit. I leaned forward, feet apart for stability, hand on hip, eyes narrowed, wisps of smoke possibly curling off my scalp. “Excuse me?”
“Shit,” Morelli said. “You look really hot like that.”
I felt my eyes almost pop out of their sockets and my arms were involuntarily waving in the air. “I’m having a fit of outrage, and you’re still thinking about sex? What the heck is wrong with you?”
“I can’t help it. I’m in launch mode. And if you want me to calm down you need to stop waving your arms and jiggling your breasts in my face.”
“I’m not jiggling my breasts in your face. My breasts are way over here, and your face is way over there.”
“That could change.”
“I don’t think so. I’m getting dressed.” I looked around. “Where are my clothes?”
Morelli looked into the living room. “Uh oh.”
I followed his line of sight. Bob was off the couch, sitting in front of the television, eating my underwear.
“Drop them,” I said to Bob. “This instant!”
Bob jumped up and ran into the kitchen with what was left of the granny panties.
“No problem,” Morelli said. “He’s eaten worse. He ate an entire couch once. Not that this was a small meal. There’s enough material in those bloomers to cover a Volkswagen.”
“Are you comparing my ass to a Volkswagen?”
“I’m going to count to ten and we’re going to start over,” Morelli said. “It’ll go smoother this time since you’re already naked.”
Good lord, what the heck was I doing? I was deliberately picking a fight with Morelli. The granny pants hadn’t worked and now I was resorting to a breakup fight.
“Hold it,” I said. “Don’t move.”
I went to my closet, wrapped myself in a robe and returned to Morelli.
“Here’s the thing,” I said. “I’m confused. I’m getting relationship pressure from my mother. I’ve possibly got a curse put on me by your grandmother. And I might have a bladder infection.”
“I can deal,” Morelli said. “Go to the doctor. Drink cranberry juice. And do whatever you have to do to unconfuse yourself. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”
I was relieved that he was so understanding, but disappointed that