Some Do Not . . ._ A Novel - Ford Madox Ford [63]
She turned her head to him; rather stiffly. But she was only coming out of an abstraction.
'Eh?' she said, and then; 'Oh! About the golf-links episode...It must have looked suspicious. I daresay you made a fuss, too, with the police, to head them off her.' She remained pondering for a moment, heavily, like an old pope:
'Oh, you'll live it down,' she said.
'I ought to tell you,' he persisted, 'that it's more serious than you think. I fancy I ought not to be here.'
'Not here!' she exclaimed. 'Why, where else in the world should you be? You don't get on with your wife; I know. She's a regular wrong 'un. Who else could look after you as well as Valentine and I.'
In the acuteness of that pang, for, after all, Tietjens cared more for his wife's reputation than for any other factor in a complicated world, Tietjens asked rather sharply why Mrs Wannop had called Sylvia a wrong 'un. She said in rather a protesting, sleepy way:
'My dear boy, nothing! I've guessed that there are differences between you; give me credit for some perception. Then, as you're perfectly obviously a right 'un, she must be a wrong 'un. That's all, I assure you.'
In his relief Tietjens' obstinacy revived. He liked this house; he liked this atmosphere; he liked the frugality, the choice of furniture, the way the light fell from window to window; the weariness after hard work, the affection of mother and daughter; the affection, indeed, that they both had for himself, and he was determined, if he could help it, not to damage the reputation of the daughter of the house.
Decent men, he held, don't do such things, and he recounted with some care the heads of the conversation he had had with General Campion in the dressing-room. He seemed to see the cracked wash-bowls in their scrubbed oak settings. Mrs Wannop's face seemed to grow greyer, more aquiline; a little resentful! She nodded from time to time, either to denote attention or else in sheer drowsiness:
'My dear boy,' she said at last, 'it's pretty damnable to have such things said about you. I can see that. But I seem to have lived in a bath of scandal all my life. Every woman who has reached my age has that feeling...Now it doesn't seem to matter...' She really nodded nearly off: then she started. 'I don't see...I really don't see how I can help you as to your reputation. I'd do it if I could: believe me...But I've other things to think of...I've this house to keep going and the children to keep fed and at school. I can't give all the thought I ought to to other people's troubles...
She started into wakefulness and right out of her chair.
'But what a beast I am!' she said, with a sudden intonation that was exactly that of her daughter; and, drifting with a Victorian majesty of shawl and long skirt behind Tietjens' high-backed chair, she leaned over it and stroked the hair on his right temple:
'My dear boy,' she said. 'Life's a bitter thing. I'm an old novelist and know it. There you are working yourself to death to save the nation with a wilderness of cats and monkeys howling and squalling your personal reputation away...It was Dizzy himself said these words to me at one of our receptions. "Here I am, Mrs Wannop," he said...And...' She drifted for a moment. But she made another effort: 'My dear boy,' she whispered, bending down her head to get it near his ear: 'My dear boy; it doesn't matter; it doesn't really matter. You'll live it down. The only thing that matters it to do good work. Believe an old woman who has lived very hard; "Hard lying money" as they call it in the navy. It sounds like cant, but it's the only real truth. You'll find consolation in that. And you'll live it down. Or perhaps you won't; that's for God in His mercy to settle. But it won't matter; believe me, as thy days so shall thy strength be.' She drifted into other thoughts; she was much perturbed over the plot of a new novel and much wanted to get back to the consideration of it. She stood gazing at the photograph, very faded, of her husband in side-whiskers and an immense shirt-front, but she