Something Blue - Emily Giffin [19]
Of course I had, I told him, suddenly on the defensive. I hadn't expected this line of questioning.
"And?"
"I don't even know if I am getting married," I said. Of course, I had every intention of getting married but thought I had a greater right to be indignant if my nuptials were up in the air.
"Well, assuming you do," Marcus said. "Did you think we'd keep seeing each other?"
"No," I snapped back self-righteously.
"I mean, Jesus Christ, Darcy," he shouted. "It's bad enough that I've been seeing my friend's fiancee for almost two fucking months. But, you know, I draw the line there. I'm not gonna sleep with his wife in case that's what you had in mind."
"I did not have that in mind," I said. If he was going to take the high ground, then so would I—although the high ground was eroding quickly.
"So what then? Did you think I was going to be celibate after you got married? Pine away after you for the rest of my life? Hang out with you and Dex all the while thinking, 'Gee whiz, what a lucky guy he is. How I wish I could be him.'?"
"No," I said, although I did like the whole star-crossed lovers theme. Who doesn't? I mean, there is a reason why Romeo and Juliet is such a beloved tale.
"Then Christ, Darcy, what do you want from me?" he shouted louder, now pacing back and forth across his apartment.
I considered this for a moment and then said, in a pitiful, small voice with my dying-calf-in-a-hailstorm expression, "I want you to love me."
He made apuh sound and looked at me, disgusted. Everything was backfiring. Why was I suddenly the bad guy?
I sat down, pulling his T-shirt over my knees. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Crying always worked with Dex. But Marcus didn't fold. "Oh, stop crying!" he said. "Stop it now!"
"Well, do you love me?" I pressed, hopeful.
He shook his head. "I'm not playing your manipulative little games, Darce."
"I'm not manipulating you… Why won't you answer the question?" I was suddenly on a singular quest.
"Why don't you answer my question? Okay? You tell me what the hell difference it would make if I did love you? Tell me that. Huh?" His face was turning red and his hands were moving all over the place. Unless it involved a sporting event or gambling, I had never seen him agitated, let alone angry or upset.
For a second, I was enchanted by the intensity of his reaction, as well as the word love coming from him. It was the closest he had ever come to telling me that he had real feelings for me. But then I pictured Angie and I was straight back to being furious. "Well, if you do love me, then what about Angie?" I pointed at the door, where my weak competition had exited. "Why was she here? Who is she, anyway?"
"She's nobody," he said.
"If she's such a nobody," I asked, "then why were you going to have sex with her?"
I expected a denial, but instead he looked at me defiantly.
" Were you going to have sex with her?" I asked.
He waited several beats, and then said, "Yup. Matter of fact, that was the plan."
I delivered a solid punch to his shoulder. My hand hurt, but he didn't flinch.
"You're such an asshole," I said. "I hate you so much!"
He gave me a blank stare and said, "Just go, Darcy. Leave now. This is over. We're done. I'll see you at your wedding."
I could tell he meant it. I was stunned, simply couldn't believe it would all end like this. "Is that what you really want?"
He spit out a disdainful laugh. "Has this ever been about anything other than what you want?"
"Oh, puh-lease," I said. "As if you haven't been enjoying every second of it."
"Sure. It's been fun," he said flippantly.
"That's it? Fun?"
"Yeah. Fun. A blast. A real joyride. The time of my life," Marcus said. "What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?"
I considered the question and answered it honestly. "I want you to want me. For more than just fun. For more than just great sex. I want you to want me for real."
He sighed, laughed, and shook his head. "Okay, Darce, I want you. I want you. I want you all to myself. Are you happy now?"
Before I could