Something Borrowed - Emily Giffin [111]
"Christ." He breathes into the phone, waiting for me to offer to cancel my trip. In the old days, back when I was a first-year, the passive-aggressive trick might have worked. But now I say nothing. I outwait him.
"Is it a family wedding?" he finally asks. This is where he draws the line. Family funerals and family weddings. Likely only immediate family. So I tell him that it's my sister's wedding. Three lies.
"Sorry," I say flippantly. "Maid of honor, you know."
I let him rant for a few seconds and make an idle threat about getting another associate to take over the case. As if everyone is chomping at the bit to work with him. As if I would care if he replaced me. Then he announces with pleasure that this means no life outside the office for me until Friday. I think to myself that that won't be a problem.
Darcy calls minutes later. She is just as understanding. "How can you book a trip so close to my wedding?"
"I promised Ethan I'd visit him this summer. And the summer is almost over."
"What's wrong with the fall? I'm sure London is even more beautiful in the fall."
"I need a vacation. Now."
"Why now?"
"I just need to get out of here."
"Why?… Does it have anything to do with Marcus?"
"No."
"Have you seen him?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Okay. Maybe it does have something to do with Marcus…" I say, just wanting her to shut up. "I don't think it's going to work out with him. And maybe I'm a little bummed. Okay?"
"Oh," she says. "I'm really sorry it didn't work out."
The last thing I want is Darcy's sympathy. I tell her that it really has more to do with work. "I need a break from Les."
"But I need you here," she whimpers. Apparently her ten seconds of sympathy have expired.
"Claire will be here."
"It's not the same. You're my maid of honor!"
"Darcy. I need a vacation. Okay?"
"I guess it'll have to be." I see her pouting face. "Right?" She adds this with a note of hope.
"Right."
She sighs loudly and tries another tactic. "Can't you go the week I'm in Hawaii on my honeymoon?"
"I could," I say, picturing Darcy in her new lingerie. "If my world revolved around you… but I'm sorry. It doesn't."
I never say things like this to Darcy. But times have changed.
"Okay. Fine. But meet me at the Bridal Party tomorrow at noon to pick up your bridesmaid dress… Unless you have plans to go to Venice or something."
"Very funny," I say, and hang up.
So now Dex will know that I am going to London. I wonder how he will feel when he hears this news. Maybe it will make him decide more quickly. Tell me something good before I fly far away.
I keep waiting, feeling increasingly tortured with every passing hour. No word from him. No call. No e-mail. I constantly check my messages, looking for the blinking red light. Nothing. I start to dial his phone number countless times, compose long e-mails that I never send. Somehow I stay strong.
Then, on the night before my flight, Jose buzzes me. "Dex is here to see you."
A flood of emotion rushes over me. The wedding is off! For once, my glass is not only half full, but it runneth over. My joy is temporarily clouded as my thoughts turn to Darcy—what will happen to our friendship? Does she know of my involvement? I push thoughts of her away, focus on my feelings for Dex. He is more important now.
But when I open the door, his face is all wrong.
"Can we talk?" he asks.
"Yes." My voice comes out in a whisper.
I sit stiffly as if I'm about to be told that someone very close to me has died. He might as well be a police officer, coming to my door with hat in hand.
He sits beside me and the words come. This has been a really hard decision… I really do love you… I just can't… I've given it a lot of thought… feel guilty… didn't mean to lead you on… our friendship… incredibly difficult… I care too much about Darcy… can't do it to her… owe it to her family… seven years… summer has been intense… meant what I said… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm truly sorry… always, always will love you…
Dex covers his face with his hands, and I have a flashback to my birthday, how much I admired his hands while