Something Old - Dianne L. Christner [102]
They were fields that Jake hadn’t wanted to farm, glad his brother Cal and his uncle had taken over that responsibility, yet this was the view that Jake had gazed upon ever since he’d been a little boy. She took it in now, the barren fields, the barn, the road. She imagined his truck leaving the drive, heading to—she broke off her thoughts because she didn’t want to remember his falling away. Not while they were mending their relationship.
No, she didn’t want that. But what did she want? She wanted to trust him. To love him. To marry him and raise a family that never veered from God’s truth. That was what she wanted. She’d always wanted that since she could remember. But she’d been denying it for the past couple of years. She’d been denying her innermost longings. No wonder she’d been miserable.
There were deeper facets to his personality now. She hoped with the new Jake her dreams could come true, after all. She wondered how many times he’d stared out this window, thinking about his dreams. Hadn’t Jake talked about new beginnings? And with God, all things were possible.
The crow flew off, and she turned away from the window. Some rubber-banded blueprints were propped up beside his desk. She skimmed her palms over them. A laptop computer was open on his desk. His screensaver flashed galactic patterns, galaxies, and stars. It was beautiful. Another surprise. She hadn’t known he was interested in astronomy. Her curiosity suddenly piqued. What else didn’t she know about him?
She glanced at the door, feeling a bit guilty for snooping, but crossed the room to his nightstand. Her breath caught. He had a Bible, one she recognized, and sitting on top of it was a framed picture of two girls. She froze. Then slowly, she picked up the photograph and looked closer at the two young women. Across the bottom of the picture was cursive writing:
Love always. I’ll never forget those steamy, starry nights. Just Jessie
Feeling hateful thoughts toward the girl with her arm around Jake’s sister, Erin, Katy stared long and hard at the woman who had caused her such grief. She resembled pictures she’d seen of fairies, petite, slender. Her hair was black with white-streaked bangs. It was short and spiked. Her eyes were bright blue and lined with black pencil. So different from Katy’s own dark ones. She wore bright lipstick. While Katy was plain and natural, this woman was worldly. Katy drew the photo closer, and her jaw fell open. She wore a nose ring. Katy’s eyes narrowed, taking in the tight jeans and slim, yet appealing silhouette. A black lacy tank top revealed a tattoo on her upper arm. The other arm was wrapped possessively around Erin. A wide belt emphasized her figure. Both girls were exhibiting a seductive pose.
Katy felt stricken, as if she couldn’t breathe, would never breathe again. She felt as if Jake had taken a spike and driven it through her heart and all her will to live had poured out the open wound.
She read the inscription again. Every word held intimate implications of what had passed between them. Romantic nights under the stars. Steamy even. She tried not to envision what those nights might have entailed. She couldn’t stand the thought of this stranger touching Jake, kissing him, embracing him. And Just Jessie. What did that mean? It insinuated a lot of time spent together, a relationship so cemented that it didn’t need further explanation.
She turned the despicable photograph around. Nothing was written on the back. But he kept her picture on his nightstand, on top of his Bible of all places. He probably read his Bible every night, and first he picked up the photo and looked at her. The last image he saw before he closed his eyes at night.
Jake’s betrayal fell over her afresh. Darker than anything she’d ever experienced because this time there was no window left for renewed trust. No chance of making things right. No hope. He cared about this awful woman. He’d lied. He would never change. There was no future with him. And she would never be able to