Song of the Saurials - Kate Novak [127]
"How do you think?" Olive whispered with frustration. "Apologize, you idiot."
Finder bristled at the insult, but the blind look in Alias's eyes softened his anger. "Alias… I'm sorry," he whispered, squeezing her hand gently, "I didn't… think about what I was saying. I want you you to sing. It doesn't matter about the soul songs."
Alias tilted her head and seemed to see the bard for the first time. She looked uncertain.
"Really. It's all right," Olive said encouragingly.
Alias looked at the halfling, confused. "Will you sing with me?" she asked Olive.
Olive started with surprise. Alias had taught her some of Finder's songs, but they had never sung together. Olive had always been too jealous of the swordswoman's voice to dare try to blend her own in with it.
"Please," Alias whispered.
Olive was suddenly reminded of Jade, the copy of Alias who had been a thief.
Olive had loved Jade, but Flattery had killed the thief. If I wasn't jealous of Alias, would I love her, too? the halfling wondered. "Sure, I'll sing with you," she said. She sat down beside the swordswoman. "What should we sing?" she asked.
Alias seemed at a loss to suggest any songs, so Olive chose one Finder hadn't written, a lighthearted one. The song seemed to improve Alias's mood. When they had finished. Olive suggested a tune of Finder's, "The Hero of the Watch," a seemingly innocuous song about a cat that saved a regiment of soldiers from an attacking horde of goblins. The swords-woman shivered slightly but nodded in agreement.
The voices of the two women blended nicely, but Olive felt as if she were the carrying Finder's song alone. Alias was concentrating too hard on keeping control of the song instead of letting the music flow naturally. She kept her eyes fixed on the ground or Olive instead of directing them at her audience. She didn't change the lyrics or tune or key, but without her spirit behind them, the songs were like ghosts.
Sensing that the song wasn't going well, the swordswoman protested with a childlike cry, "I… I can't do it," and stopped singing in the middle of the last verse.
"Alias, just relax," Olive said. "Don't worry about changing the song. Finder said it was all right."
Alias looked toward the bard. Finder nodded, but something in his look made Alias flinch as if the bard had struck her.
"That's what he said," Alias answered, "but Finder won't love me if I change his songs."
The bard rubbed at his temples, confused at how stubbornly Alias clung to her desire to please him. Flattery, on the other hand, had grown to hate him readily. "Alias, love is something people are supposed to give freely. It's not a commodity to be earned or forfeited," he said.
"Yes," Alias said. "That's what you taught me, but it's not what you believe… is it?"
"Of course it's what I believe," Finder protested. "It's what most of my songs are about."
"You hold it up as an ideal," Alias said, "but you don't act that way yourself."
Olive nodded, knowing Alias was right. Finder withheld his love when he was displeased and dispensed it lavishly only when Alias was behaving as he thought she should.
"Alias, I'm not perfect," Finder said. "I became angry and said some stupid things. It doesn't mean I won't love you if you change my songs."
"You say that, but it's not true," Alias insisted.
Finder sighed in frustration. "It is true. How can I prove it to you if you won't sing?"
Alias's eyes lit up suddenly. "Prove you believe it," she said. "Take the risk yourself."
"What?" Finder asked.
"You know I love you. Prove to me you're sure I love you no matter what you do … or did," Alias demanded.
"What are you talking about?" Finder asked. He looked frightened.
"Morala said there was something you didn't tell the Harpers about the first singer you tried to create… something Maryje knew, something you were ashamed of," Alias said. "Tell me what it was."
Finder shuddered and shook his head. "I… I can't," he said.
"We need to hear Alias sing her soul song," Akabar said. "It may make all the difference in whether or not we can