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By Root 847 0

confidences and still do. In time, however, and precisely when I cannot say, Thomas began to pressure me to see him socially. But for our professional relationship, the requests might have seemed innocent. Still I declined, explaining each time that I did not want to mix my personal life with my professional life. I had just taken the position as his assistant, and the work was important to me. I had friends from school with whom I socialized and had begun to meet others as well. I was dating two or three men casually, but even if I had not been, I would not have considered dating Thomas. I suspect that the fact that he was my supervisor was most important to me, but because of several other considerations as well, I was not attracted to him. Sure that I could keep it all under control, I concluded that I should be able to handle the situation, maintain my integrity, and keep my job. But I was fooling myself.

Notwithstanding my rebuffs and protestations, Thomas continued from time to time to suggest a closer relationship. Perhaps his experience on Capitol Hill led him to believe that his position entitled him to personal as well as professional access to his staff. Perhaps my rejection of his requests was a challenge to his authority. For whatever reasons, gradually his confessions about his life became more personal, more graphic, and more vulgar. I have no more details of his comments to add to my testimony. I believe, then and now, that what I said was sufficient to establish the ugliness and inappropriateness of the statements made by Thomas. What I describe here in this book attempts to put them in the context in which they occurred. As I said in the statement I sent to the Senate on September 23, 1991:

… Clarence Thomas would call me into his office for reports on education issues and projects or, if his schedule was full of outside appointments, he would suggest that we go to lunch together at one of the area government cafeterias. After a brief discussion about work, he would turn the conversation to discussions about his sexual interests. His conversations were very vivid. He spoke about acts that he had seen in pornographic films involving such things as women having sex with animals and films involving group sex or rape scenes. He talked about pornographic materials depicting individuals with large penises or breasts involved in various sex acts. I was extremely uncomfortable talking about sex with him, at all, particularly in such a graphic way, and I told him repeatedly that I didn’t want to talk about those kinds of things. I would also try to change the subject to education matters or to nonsexual personal matters like his background or political beliefs. However, I sensed that my discomfort with his discussions only urged him on, as though my reaction of feeling ill at ease and vulnerable was exactly what he wanted.

The second time his conversation turned sexual, I knew that I had made a mistake in taking the job with Clarence Thomas. Working as his special assistant put me in a vulnerable position. Yet my only course seemed to be standing my ground, avoiding the problem when I could, and focusing on my work. I wanted very badly to believe that the behavior would end if I continued to resist.

I had no idea where to turn for a solution to the problem. It was 1981, I was living in Washington, and I had no close family in the area. Gil Hardy was too close to Thomas to trust with the information. I had no powerful political contacts. Clarence Thomas was the most powerful and well-connected person I knew. I was so politically naive that when I met Secretary of Education Terrel Bell at a reception, I had not a clue as to who he was. “Excuse me, but I didn’t catch your name,” I said after introducing myself, to his considerable amusement. We spoke briefly afterward, and I never saw him again. I doubted I could turn to him, and I was uncertain who in the administration could be trusted. I suspected that some might do nothing and others might use the information against me. I had no reason to believe that