Spell Bound - Kelley Armstrong [73]
“And even if they are, we’ll deal with that,” Paige said.
“Yes, of course.” Lucas snapped his notebook shut and leaned forward. “We know how upset you must be, but your ability to cast spells is only a small part of who you are, Savannah. Remember how rarely you cast spells in your daily life.”
“Let me rephrase that,” Paige said. “Think of how rarely you need to cast them. Which excludes things like an unlock spell so you don’t have to dig out your keys.”
I looked at them both, sitting on the couch, trying to assess my mood, not wanting to smother me with reassurances, but wanting to be sure I understood that I’d be fine without my spells. That it wouldn’t change anything. Wouldn’t change how they felt. If I’d been worried about that, I’d been a fool.
I’d been a fool about a lot of things.
“When we test my spells,” I said, “I’ve got some we need to add to the regime. Some of my mom’s.”
Lucas nodded. “Dark magic. Yes, we should do that. The materials and techniques are slightly dissimilar and it may make a difference.”
He opened his book and made a note.
“We’ll need a list of ingredients,” Paige said. “I’m sure the Cabal has everything here, but if these are spells they might not have access to, then we need to be careful how we ask for them. We don’t want to give them more dark magic than they already have.”
And that was that. No “what spells do you mean?” Or “where did you get them?” My deepest, darkest secret revealed, only to discover it hadn’t been a secret at all.
“We should find a room where we can do the testing,” Paige said to Lucas.
A look passed between them.
He got to his feet. “I’ll do that now.”
He left and Paige motioned me over to the sofa. I sat beside her.
“So,” she said. “How are you holding up?”
I tried to say I was fine, but the words wouldn’t come. Finally, all I could do was shake my head.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I nodded. I told her everything, starting from the moment Jesse Aanes walked into my office and offered me the case in Columbus. I told her everything that had happened since then, even the parts she already knew, because this was different, now she was here, finally here, and she could put her arms around me and I could let it all spill out. And I could cry. I could let myself cry, which I did, until there was nothing left and I fell asleep with my head on her lap.
Paige woke me up a while later. Hope was ready to visit Jaz, and I had to go down to watch. Although there was an observation room adjoining Jaz’s cell, they were using a secret video link instead, so he’d think he was alone with Hope.
I had to use a special set of elevators that led to the secured basement. I was on my way to them when a voice called, “Savannah,” and I nearly tripped over myself stopping.
Adam stepped from the archive room.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey yourself.” I struggled to keep my tone light. “I heard you’re eyeball deep in research. How’s it going?”
“Okay.” He lowered his voice. “Are you okay? I mean, I know you didn’t get hurt, but . . . are you okay?”
“Just kidnapped again. I’m used to it by now.”
His eyes clouded with concern and he stood there, undecided. He knew it hadn’t been as easy for me as I pretended, and he wanted to say something, do something.
I could use this. Let my armor crack, maybe even fake a little more residual anxiety than I felt, and he’d put his anger aside to be there for me.
“I’m okay,” I said. “I had my moments on the inside, but I’m out now, with lots else to focus on. I’m ready for work. Speaking of which, if you need any help, I’m around.”
He nodded, glanced over his shoulder and lifted a finger to someone, then turned to me. “Okay. I just wanted to . . . say hi. I should get back to work. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Sure. I’m around, like I said. Maybe we can—”
He was already gone. The door swung shut behind him and I was left standing there, staring at it. When I turned, I saw Clay in another doorway, further down, watching