Spirit Bound - Christine Feehan [80]
He felt the sorrow in her rising. She hastily pushed it away. “Don’t do that around me,” he said sharply. “I have no problem with any emotion you’re feeling, Judith. Be yourself with me. Feel everything from hate to love, happiness to sorrow. You’re allowed.”
She ducked her head and stepped out into the hall. “You know what can happen, Thomas.”
He detested the name Thomas. “Not with me. I’ve seen what you can do, and if you’re honest with yourself, you know I can handle it. You’re afraid of yourself, but you’ll never learn to control your talent unless you start using it.”
“Maybe it’s evil and not meant to be used.”
Deliberately, he gave a derisive snort. “You’re not afraid to admit you want revenge, Judith, so why be afraid of something so pure as the element of spirit?”
“That’s exactly why I’m afraid of it. I can twist not only my own element, but my sisters’ talents into something not meant to be. I don’t want that for them. I guard how I feel so I’m not tempted.”
His arm caged her in, hand on the wall beside her head, preventing her from moving. “You know better, Judith. I’m a violent man when necessary. I recognize violence when I see it. You may need revenge. You may even dream of revenge, but torturing a human being in your mind, and killing him there is far different than actually doing it. You would never, under any circumstances use your sisters to hurt another human being.”
Judith blinked back tears, her eyes refusing to meet his. Stefan caught her chin in his fingers and forced her head. “You’re ashamed of that. Ashamed you have the means of revenge and won’t use it. You feel guilty.”
She jerked away from him. “You see too much.”
“Judith, there’s no guilt in not wanting to twist those you love into something that would hurt another being, you already know that’s too high of a price to pay—and there’s always a price. There has to be a moral code, a line you never cross, a personal code, even in something like revenge.”
She took a breath. “You sound like you know what you’re talking about.”
“More than you know, angel.” He bent his head and kissed her gently, a tender, comforting kiss when she winced and shook her head. “You don’t like being an angel, even mine.”
“I prefer it when you call me your fallen angel. At least I know you aren’t putting me on an impossibly high pedestal.”
She was on that pedestal for all time no matter what she did. Any sin she had would never compare to his blackened soul. He stepped back to allow her to escape. Judith squared her shoulders and led the way toward the stairs. They passed the last door on the bottom floor without her touching it. Judith had been open about every part of her house, obviously taking pride in it, yet she skipped a major portion of the downstairs without so much as glancing at it, rather she’d taken great care to look away from it, instantly arousing his interest.
“Where does this door lead?” He managed to look innocent as he asked, but he didn’t take his eyes off of her noting her sudden withdrawal, the frozen look on her face and guilt that crept into her eyes. His hand dropped to the doorknob, but it was locked.
She shook her head, her eyes sliding away from his. “Just another studio. I keep it locked and don’t often go in there.” Color crept up her neck into her face.
She was flat-out lying to him, when she hadn’t lied about anything else and she wasn’t very good at it. Nothing else could have raised his suspicion more. What the hell was she hiding? He tried not to let his mind make a leap back to Jean-Claude, but the man was obsessed with her, had someone watching her, taking pictures for five straight years. Was it possible she was holding something for him? Her loathing of the man rang true, yet why would she lie?
He worked for his government and until he knew for absolute certain that he was on a list to be wiped out, he would make certain his country’s secrets were protected at all times. He had to make