Spirit Walk_ Old Wounds (Book 1) - Christie Golden [17]
She had had brave words for Captain Chakotay about the mission, and in her good moments she believed them. But she remembered kissing Harry good-bye nearly eight years before, when he had left to go to Deep Space 9 and join Voyager as the wet-behind-the-ears ops officer. He was different, and she was very different—more than she could let him know—but there were eerie similarities between the two farewells despite her laughter and feigned nonchalance.
So she was very pleased with herself when she didn’t cry, not even when he kissed her tenderly and said, “See you in a few weeks.” And then, further challenging her determination to shed no tears, “I don’t suppose you’ve changed your mind?”
A month ago, he had proposed. She had been stunned and stammered out a refusal her heart hadn’t wanted to make. She couldn’t tell him about her real day job, and she wasn’t prepared to try to make a life with someone she had to lie to. At least, not yet. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready. So she had had to watch his open, honest face fall. The last few weeks had been strained. She hoped that time apart would help them both accept the way things had to be for now.
She transported back to her cabin in Maine feeling heavy and unhappy, and realizing that she had several messages waiting for her didn’t cheer her up in the slightest. She ignored them for a few moments while she cuddled on the floor with Binky, her rabbit, then sighed and, like Harry, went on duty.
“How did the launch go?” asked her boss, Director of Covert Operations Aidan Fletcher. Both of them had snagged promotions six months ago after they had assisted in stopping Fletcher’s predecessor from succeeding in a brutal and clever plot against Earth and the Federation itself. Despite the fact that before Harry had returned, Libby and the elegant, slender Aidan had been romantically involved, Libby was now comfortable working for him again. Aidan knew how she felt about Harry, and in fact he himself had been the one to end his relationship with Libby. Now Aidan was on a very short list of people she completely trusted.
“Without a hitch,” she said.
“Good. Any likely suspects?”
The last time the director of covert operations had instructed Libby to search for a mole in the Federation, it had been to throw the young agent off the scent of what was really happening in covert ops. Now, though, Libby and Fletcher were on the trail of the real thing. There was someone embedded in the Federation who was accessing classified information for purposes unknown. Libby and several other agents, whose names she did not know for security reasons, were trying to hunt the culprit down.
Libby shrugged. “It was difficult to really engage anyone in conversation,” she said, wincing inwardly at her Freudian choice of the word “engage.” “The focus was really on Chakotay and the party.”
“And of course, since he’s about to leave for several weeks, I suspect our Lieutenant Kim probably wasn’t too keen on your mixing and mingling,” said Fletcher wryly, his gray eyes twinkling.
“Well, there is that,” she admitted.
“Not to worry. Now that Harry’s off on a dull-as-dishwater mission, you’ve got some time to follow up on these names.”
He pressed a button and a list of names sprang up on her console. Her jaw dropped slightly as the list scrolled on and on, and Aidan laughed.
“I know, it’s a lot,” he said, “but I have the utmost faith in you, Agent Webber.”
“Thank you so much,” she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You do know I have a concert to prepare for? Several, in fact?”
“And you’ll notice that I have thoughtfully given you a list of names of people who are scheduled to appear at said concerts,” he said. “No, no need to thank me. Just do your usual excellent job and we’ll nail this mole.”
He winked and logged off. Libby shook her head. She looked at the list of names once more, sighed, and retrieved her lal-shak. She wanted to spend a few moments