Spirit Walk_ Old Wounds (Book 1) - Christie Golden [19]
How, then, had this horrific night come to be?
Jarem Kaz bolted upright, gasping for breath.
“Lights,” he called in a raspy voice as he fumbled for a glass of water. He gulped the liquid quickly, but it eased his dry mouth only slightly.
He looked around at his pleasant, spacious quarters aboard Voyager as his heart slowed to a more normal pace. He wasn’t happy that the dream had returned, but he wasn’t altogether surprised. For the first time since he had been joined with the Kaz symbiont, Jarem was heading back into an area of space that had figured in the war. The colonists on board weren’t Maquis, of course, but Loran II was located in space that had formerly belonged to the Cardassians. It was only natural that Kaz’s subconscious, here on his first official day as a member of this ship’s crew, might seize upon the worst memory of a previous host and gnaw on it.
His heart and breathing slowed as he sipped the water. The further away he moved from the dream, the less concerned he was. It was a natural reaction. And one bad dream wasn’t worth worrying about.
He called for the lights again, settled back onto his bed, and waited for sleep for a second time that night.
The next morning, Chakotay asked Commander Ellis to join him for a private chat. While Marius Fortier might have felt more comfortable being received in Chakotay’s quarters, Voyager’s captain knew that Ellis would deem the ready room much more appropriate.
Deciding to break the ice quickly, Chakotay handed Ellis a padd the moment the door closed behind him.
“What’s this, sir?” asked Ellis.
“The duty roster,” Chakotay said. “I used to hate drawing these up. It’s one thing I won’t mind handing over to you, Andrew. Or do you prefer Andy, or perhaps Drew?”
Chakotay suspected he preferred Commander Ellis, but the younger man replied somewhat stiffly, “Andrew will be fine, sir. In informal situations, of course.”
Chakotay smiled. “Of course,” he agreed. “Have a seat.”
Ellis glanced uncomfortably back at the closed door that opened onto the bridge.
“Lieutenant Kim’s on duty, and believe me, he knows enough to holler for help if he needs it. Have a seat,” Chakotay repeated, a little more insistently.
Ellis obeyed, perching on the edge of the sofa. If it was possible for anyone to look like he was standing at attention while sitting, Ellis could.
“You and I haven’t had much chance to talk,” Chakotay began. “I’d like to rectify that.”
“Captain Chakotay,” said Ellis, his discomfort palpable, “I enjoy relaxing with friends as much as anyone on this ship.” Somehow, Chakotay didn’t believe that. “But I hardly think that while we are both on duty is an appropriate time for such activities.”
“And you’d be right,” Chakotay said. “We’ll be dining together tonight for that.” Ellis looked startled but resigned at the news. Chakotay had decided that for the time being, he needed to make “relaxing with friends” an order or Ellis would find some reason to object to it. It wasn’t easy for a rising young Starfleet officer to get comments like “works too hard” on his reviews—hard work was expected and usually admired and encouraged—but somehow, Andrew Ellis had managed it.
“What I wanted to tell you,” Chakotay continued, “is that while I respect your way of going about your job, it’s a job that I myself have held for quite some time. I know what it takes. I’ll give you a lot of freedom, Andrew, but I’ll be watching you.”
Ellis clearly misunderstood Chakotay’s words and bridled slightly.
“Captain, with all due respect, I have received nothing but praise for how I have gone about my duties in the past. If you are suggesting that I would neglect—”
“Quite the opposite,” Chakotay assured him. “I’ll be watching to you make sure you don’t exhaust yourself.”
“I hardly think—”
Chakotay set his cup on the table. “Let’s speak frankly. I know you wanted this assignment. I know your record. I know how highly thought of you are in Starfleet, and how capable you are. You know that you weren’t my first choice for first officer, and