Standing in the Rainbow - Fannie Flagg [157]
“Thank you, Hattie, and we have a winner in the spelling bee. The champion, thirteen-year-old Miss Ronnie Claire Edwards, her word M-I-L-L-I-P-E-D-E. Congratulations—you must be a genius in the making. We will watch your career with interest. I tell you I could no more spell some of those words than I could empty the ocean with a bucket.
“Oh, thank you, Mother Smith, she’s looked it up in the dictionary. ‘Millipede, an arthropod having a cylindrical body composed of from twenty to over one hundred segments, each with two pairs of legs.’ Oh my. Now my question is, what’s an arthropod? What? Oh that’s right: Mother Smith says whatever it is, she doesn’t want it crawling on her. I’m with you down to the rattle on that one, Mother.
“Watermelons, sweet corn, and tomatoes will be among the topics discussed at a Vegetable Field Day this Friday. It will feature the latest results of vegetable research, so be sure and attend. We have all sorts of fun things coming up, but first here’s our big news of the day. I need a fanfare for this one, Mother Smith. Ada and Bess Goodnight have gone up to Kansas City and purchased themselves a brand-new Airstream trailer and now that they’re both widows and have retired they say they are going to take off into the wild blue yonder and become tin-can tourists. They say they don’t know where they are going to, or when they will be back, and they like it that way. Just think, they will have a different backyard every morning. Oh, I don’t know what I would do if I looked out and saw my yard was different, but those two are just full of spunk and raring to go. Their first stop will be the Nite-O-Rest Trailer Court outside of Mill Grove. . . . So all of you out there, if you see a tomato-red Dodge that looks like a big tomato aspic pulling a trailer go by, it will be them, headed for the open road. So good luck to our girls, traveling in tin.
“Also in the good-news department this morning, yesterday I got a nice letter from my daughter-in-law, Lois, who tells me that Bobby has just been promoted to the new position of vice president in charge of operations of Fowler Poultry Enterprises, and for a boy who flunked the sixth grade and could not spell monkey, much less millipede, believe me, that is quite a feat!”
The Governors Convention
IN 1966 BETTY RAYE was relieved to learn that there was another wife running for a governorship. Lurleen Wallace of Alabama had announced her candidacy. Betty Raye did not know anything about her but she prayed she would win so she would not have to be the lone woman governor in the United States anymore. It was not fun.
Early the next year, when Governor Betty Raye Sparks of Missouri received her invitation to the National Governors Convention in Washington, she said, “I’m not going to go up there with all those real governors, Hamm. I’d make a fool of myself.”
“No, you won’t honey, I’ll be right there with you all the time.” He patted her arm. “All you have to do is smile and be pleasant. I’ll tell you how to vote on things.” Cecil, who was looking forward to another week of shopping for the trip, said, batting his big eyes, “If you don’t go, darling, it will look bad for the state.”
Hamm arrived at the governors conference bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. This was his first trip to Washington as the husband of a governor and the press was particularly interested in him. Hamm played it up for all it was worth. Betty Raye, the only woman governor there, thought she would have physically