Standing in the Rainbow - Fannie Flagg [173]
Vita sat there for a moment listening to Betty Raye hiccup down the hall, then got up and thought to herself, I’m probably going to regret this. She got to the elevator doors just as they opened and took Betty Raye by the arm. “Come back.”
Betty Raye said, “No . . . I should just go and let you alone.”
“I don’t want you to go.” Vita turned to the puzzled elevator operator standing there waiting and said, “She’s not leaving.”
Betty Raye said, “I’m not?”
“No, you’re not, come on with me.”
As Vita led her back up the stairs to the apartment, Betty Raye said, “I promise, I’m not really as dumb as I seem,” and hiccuped again. When she got Betty Raye back inside Vita sat her down and handed her a glass of brandy. “Drink this.”
Betty Raye took a drink and looked at Vita in horror. “What is that?”
“Brandy.”
“Oh well, I thought I’d come here today because I wanted you to know if there was anything I could do for you and to tell you that you are welcome to see the boys anytime you want; I realize you must miss him terribly.” She paused a moment, then said, “But I did have a question. Mrs. Green, I hate to ask you this, but I wondered: Do you have any idea what happened to him?”
“No, I don’t, Mrs. Sparks. I wish I did. Believe me.”
“Oh. I thought if anyone knew it would be you . . . ”
Vita looked at her very carefully. “Did you know about your husband and me?”
“Oh yes.”
“For how long?”
“From the beginning, I guess. Hamm was not the subtlest of men.”
“And you never said anything?”
“No. But please don’t think I’m a saint, I’m not. It nearly killed me. I cried over it, I prayed about it, but you can’t make a person stop loving another person just by telling them to stop. If I had, he would have resented me the rest of his life. It was a problem with no solution or at least none I could think of. Oh, there was a time I thought about leaving him, and I should have, I guess. But I knew a divorce would have ruined his career, so I made the decision not to leave and I adjusted to it.” She looked at the brandy glass. “I think this stuff has cured my hiccups. And of course I kidded myself that if I ran for governor for him he might have to depend on me. And I hoped that maybe one day he would get over you. But I think the real truth is I just didn’t have the courage to leave. I’m not a very brave person, Mrs. Green, and the thought of having to go out on my own and raise the children alone . . .”
Betty Raye took another drink of the brandy and made another face. “But there were times when I did wonder what you thought of me or if you ever thought of me or if you were trying to get him to leave me. Of course, when I met you and saw how beautiful and smart you were, I could understand why he fell in love with you. I couldn’t blame him, really. I mean, you were everything I wasn’t. I even wondered if you hated me for not leaving him. . . . Did you?”
Vita got up and walked across the room to the bar and fixed herself a strong drink and after a moment said, “No, I didn’t hate you. The truth is that I never thought about you.”
“I see,” said Betty Raye.
“Now that I think back, it wasn’t so much that I didn’t care, it was just that I couldn’t afford to think about you. I suppose if any woman having an affair with a married man ever really stopped to think about the man’s wife and what it was doing to her, she would not be able to keep doing it. I didn’t even have the excuse that most have that the wife is terrible. I knew you weren’t terrible but what I didn’t know was just how well you did understand him.”
She came back over and sat down. “I think there are some things I do need to tell you. First of all, I never wanted to marry him. I am not the wife type and, believe me, I never wanted children. It’s you that should hate me. I’m the thief. I stole what should have been yours. I had the best of him and just gave you what was left over.”
Betty Raye smiled a little. “Well, in a way I feel I got the best of him. I have the boys. But the