Standing in the Rainbow - Fannie Flagg [71]
Norma looked somewhat skeptical.
“Norma, it’s the truth. Look at what happened in the American West. Now that is how men act if you let them, never bathing, always shooting Indians and buffaloes and one another, drinking and gambling and I don’t know what all. It wasn’t until decent, respectable women went west that they straightened up and started behaving themselves. And don’t forget—it’s the men that stir up all the mischief in this world. Let me ask you this . . . if women were in charge of everything, do you think we would have so many fatherless little orphans in this world? You know, the male lion even eats his young if the mother is not careful.”
“Mother, what do lions have to do with anything?”
“It proves my point. Norma, you have to watch them every minute or they will revert back to jungle ways.”
“Oh, Mother, Daddy is not like that.”
“I know he isn’t now—not when he’s with us—but I hate to disillusion you, my girl: no matter how well-bred they may be or how nice they may act in polite society, you put a group of men alone in a cabin for a week and if you think they bother to use their napkins or set the table or even have the courtesy to shave, you are sadly mistaken. Now, I’m not saying they can help it, all I am saying is that in order for this world to keep on progressing the women have got to run things. The trick is to do it without them knowing it.”
After her mother left she dialed the hardware store. When he picked up she said, “Macky, will you promise me one thing?”
“What?”
“If I ever start acting like my mother, will you just take out a gun and shoot me?”
The Shy Senior
WHEN BETTY RAYE had started her senior year at Elmwood Springs as the new girl in school, she had naturally attracted a lot of attention. Also having been a gospel singer, she had been quite an oddity for the first couple of weeks but after the initial curiosity about her had worn off she’d more or less faded into the background. It would have been difficult for anybody entering into a class where most of the students had been together since the first grade to fit in but it was doubly hard for Betty Raye. She certainly did not stand out in a crowd and the boys her age were most definitely not interested in this thin, rather plain girl wearing blue plastic glasses. Some of the girls tried their best to bring her into the conversation at lunch or invite her to the drugstore for a soda, but she was so shy she never said much of anything. After a while they gave up. They figured she did not have much of a personality or was probably some sort of religious nut. They did not dislike her—they just stopped trying to get to know her. So Betty Raye did not go anywhere except to school and back and sometimes to a movie with the family but that was really fine with her. She was happy just to come home and Dorothy was glad to have her. In fact, she was a big help. Dorothy received hundreds of letters a week and Betty Raye helped her sort them out and put her recipe letters in one pile, her requests and announcements in another. Betty Raye also helped Bobby, only Dorothy did not know about that. Sometimes when he could not figure out his math or English problems he would sneak over to her room and she would do them for him. Mother Smith, who loved to play cards, was teaching Betty Raye how to play and was amazed at how quickly she learned. After