Standing in the Rainbow - Fannie Flagg [80]
When Doc got downtown he went in and turned on the lights in the drugstore and Poor Tot came in right behind him wearing her aqua chenille robe and house shoes, looking as frazzled as she had the last time this had happened. They went through and picked out a Sparkle Plenty doll and some hair barrettes for Darlene, who was seven, and a few stuffed toys for Dwayne Jr., who was two and a half. As they walked around looking, she picked up a little plastic see-through purse and said, “I just don’t know what to do next, Doc, scream or jump off a building. James is spending my money faster than I can make it. I’m fixing hair all day, and he’s out all night drinking it up.”
Doc told her what he had been telling her for years. “Honey, what you need to do is throw the bum out.”
Tot looked up at him and said what she always said. “I know I should but if I don’t take care of things, who will? God knows nobody else is going to put up with him.”
After Tot left, with profuse thanks, Doc had to wait on several other people who’d come in and wanted to get things as well. But he did not charge them. Everything was free on Christmas Eve, he said.
It was an hour later by the time he could get home. Finally, Bobby was able to rip open the big box from his parents. Inside was a great record player, and his grandmother gave him the two records he wanted most, Mule Train and Ghost Riders in the Sky.
And underwear.
He received money from Jimmy, a Rover Boy book from Betty Raye, and Anna Lee surprised him with a genuine Jungle Jim pith helmet.
Dorothy got a robe, a cameo, and new curtains, Doc a new pipe and pajamas and slippers and, from Bobby, a fishing-tackle box. Mother Smith’s presents were handkerchiefs, perfume, and a beautiful new boxed set of playing cards. Jimmy got his yearly twelve cartons of Camel cigarettes and, from Bobby, a toenail clipper. The girls got perfume, clothes, and cash money, toenail clippers from Bobby, and Dorothy had bought them both scrapbooks. Minnie and Ferris Oatman, who were doing a Christmas-week gospel sing in North Carolina, sent Betty Raye a white leather Bible with her name embossed in gold on the front. And she unwrapped a lovely silk scarf that had her name on the name tag but not the name of who it was from. Later they all went out on the porch and waited for the bus with Jimmy and at 11:45 it pulled up in front and he got on.
As usual, Dorothy was the last one up and when she finished doing a few final things in the kitchen she went into the living room to turn off all the Christmas lights. She stood there for a moment and looked at them glowing, blinking, and bubbling in the dark and they looked so pretty she decided to leave them on all night.
Uncle Floyd Has a Fit
TWO DAYS after Christmas, Dorothy was on the air when the phone rang. Betty Raye, walking by, picked up and to her surprise it was her mother. Minnie Oatman was on the other end, calling long distance from the office of the Talladega, Alabama, Primitive Baptist Church and she was hysterical.
“Oh, Betty Raye, honey, something terrible has happened, brace yourself for bad news.”
“Momma, what is it?”
“Honey,” Minnie sobbed, “we lost Chester last night. Chester’s gone and your Uncle Floyd is locked hisself in the men’s room, blaspheming the Lord, and he won’t come out.”
“What men’s room?” said Betty Raye.
“Over at the seafood place. One minute we was happy without a care in the world eating fried shrimp and the next thing we knowed Floyd was running around the parking lot, screaming like a banshee. In the time it took to eat twelve fried shrimp Chester had been snatched right out of his little suitcase in broad daylight and was gonded . . . kidnapped just like the Lindberger baby. And the next thing we knowed Floyd run in the men’s room and locked the door and threatened to drown hisself. We all tried to pry him out, Beatrice and everybody there, but he won’t budge. The boys tried to get in the window to him but he throwed water on them and wouldn’t let them in.