Star of His Heart - Brenda Jackson [23]
“The purpose of all of this, Netherland, is for the two of us to have a meeting of the minds, to be in sync and on one accord. It’s important that we’re a united front about certain things.”
“What things?”
“What part we will play in each other’s lives. Not just for tonight but for forever.”
“But there isn’t a forever for us, Ashton,” she said in frustration. “Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you see that?”
He smiled tenderly. “Because I have the gift to see things that you don’t see, sweetheart. I’ve told you about my vision but you refuse to accept it.”
“I can’t.”
“Then you can’t fully surrender until you can accept it. Look at me, Netherland. Look hard and tell me what you see. I want your complete honesty.”
She looked at him while he looked back at her. After a few moments she said, “I see a very stubborn man.” She then took a deep breath. “But I also see the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life. Your features are strong, profound. And I want you.”
“I want you, too,” he said gently, truthfully. “But one thing you didn’t mention that you see is love. Surely you can see all my love for you, Netherland.”
Netherland gasped. Love? Surely he was mistaken. This man couldn’t love her. He didn’t even know her. He didn’t know everything about her. “You can’t possibly love me, Ashton.”
“Why can’t I?”
“It’s just not possible. You don’t know me.”
He smiled. “I know you a lot better than you think.”
She frowned. “Then you should know how I feel about military men.”
“I do. And I know your reasons for them are groundless.”
“Groundless!” Netherland sat up on her haunches. “How dare you tell me that something I feel so strongly about is groundless?”
He sat up on his haunches and met her glare, face-to-face, nearly nose to nose. “I can dare and I will dare, Netherland, because I am your soul mate. You don’t have to concern yourself with instability because my love will be the most stable thing you will have in your life. You won’t have to worry about not having a home because your home will always be with me, wherever I am. Home is where the heart is, and your home will always reside in my heart, like my home will always be in yours. You love me.”
Netherland sat back down, Indian-style, and looked up at him. “No, I don’t love you,” she said quietly, wondering how he could assume such a thing. How could he make such a claim as if he were privy to her innermost feelings and emotions? “There are things you don’t even know about me, Ashton. Do you know why my first husband left me?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“To some men it might. The reason he left me was that—”
“It doesn’t matter, Netherland,” he interrupted. “What matters to me is that you understand my position. We will not make love until you surrender all to me.”
“What you want I’m unable to give, Ashton,” she said softly, as tears glistened in her eyes. Why was he determined to make things difficult? Why couldn’t he take what she was offering and be satisfied with that? “You don’t know how hard it was on me for my father to be gone off somewhere when I had my birthdays, on Christmases, and important events at school. I was named homecoming queen at the beginning of my senior year, and because he was away, he didn’t see me get crowned.”
“Don’t you think he probably wanted to be there, Netherland? Instead he thought he was somewhere doing something equally as important, like protecting and safeguarding your freedom. Not only yours but the freedom of all the kids in your school, their parents and a whole lot of others. Even the person who placed that crown on your head at that coronation.”
Netherland sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. She hadn’t ever thought of her father’s numerous absences in that light before. “Mrs. Jones.”
Ashton lifted a dark brow. “Mrs. Jones? Who’s Mrs. Jones?”
Netherland shrugged slightly. “She was the home economics teacher who placed the crown on my head.”
Ashton nodded. A slight smile touched his lips. “Very well. Your father was protecting and safeguarding Mrs. Jones’s freedom,