Star of His Heart - Brenda Jackson [59]
Moments later, breathing deeply, he tore his mouth from hers and looked down into her desire-glazed eyes and knew they were a mirror of his own. Had they continued kissing, their “nice kiss” would have flared out of control like wildfire again.
“Alex,” she whispered. “I want to make love with you.”
Alex straightened abruptly, remembering what she’d said was one of her plans…that she had been saving herself for him. He then remembered his relationship with her family, especially her brothers. The Maxwell brothers and the Madaris brothers had always been close since they had grown up in the same neighborhood, lived on the same street, their houses only a few doors from each other. Although they’d been older than he, Justin, Dex and Clayton had always treated him like a younger brother and their father, Jonathan Madaris, had always treated the two fatherless Maxwell brothers as sons. He knew that everyone, including his own brother and mother, would expect him to treat Christy with the utmost respect.
He sighed as he took a step back, reaffirming the decision he’d just reached. “No, Christy. Your virginity is a very special gift that should go to your husband.”
“But you’ll be my husband one day.”
“No, I won’t.” He needed to make her understand. He didn’t want her to think the kisses they’d shared had changed anything. There was no way, although he knew that he was attracted to her, that he could continue to let her think something would ever come of it. He had to convince her that there could never be anything between them other than friendship. “What happened a few minutes ago was nothing but a case of lust, nothing more. You understand that, don’t you?”
She shook her head. “No, I understand love, Alex, not lust. I love you.”
Overwhelming frustration gripped him when he immediately thought of the hell that would break loose if anyone knew she thought she felt that way about him. Drawing a deep breath, he slid his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo slacks. He knew he had to get firm, and bring to an end what could be happening between them…for both of their sakes.
“I love you, Alex,” she repeated softly when moments passed and the silence between them had stretched.
He laughed, and the harsh sound was intentional, to mock what she’d just said. “Love? You don’t know a thing about love, especially not the man-woman kind. It’s time you grew up and let go of childhood dreams and fantasies, because that’s all they are, Christy. You’re not promised to me, and I’m not promised to you. The sooner you accept that, the better off we’ll both be.”
Without giving her a chance to respond, he angrily opened the door and walked out.
Chapter 16
Netherland tossed the towel aside after drying the water from her body. A few moments later, she slipped into her nightgown. She glanced at herself in the bathroom’s mirror and inhaled deeply at the sight of her puffy eyes. She had cried all the way home from the hospital and wanted to cry even now but was determined not to. At least she had found out how Ashton felt about wanting a child before things had gotten too serious between them.
She suddenly paused, thinking she’d heard something, then shrugged, figuring it was Rome returning from tonight’s affair at Sisters. But then something in the air made her shiver and at the same time, something warm settled down inside of her, making her stomach spin, her body burn.
She slowly stepped out of the bathroom and glanced around her semidarkened bedroom and breathed in deeply. Although she couldn’t see him she knew Ashton was there. Somehow he had gotten past her alarm system again. Why had he come? There was nothing left for them to say to each other. She could never give him the child he would want one day.
But still, knowing