Star Trek_ Generations - J M. Dillard [52]
Soran did not glance up from his console; but Picard saw something dark and ugly flicker across his profile. The captain pressed harder.
When you tucked your children into bed … do you suppose they ever suspected that their father would one day kill millions as casually as he kissed them good night?
At last Soran stopped his work and looked up. For an instant his eyes were still vulnerable, haunted by memories. Picard felt a stirring of hope. And then the brittleness ascended upward from the scientists hollowly smiling lips to his eyes.
Nice try, he whispered huskily, then turned back to his work.
In the instant he woke to darkness, Geordi La Forge was seized by the unreasoning fear that he was back on the Klingon Bird-of-Prey. Soran was waiting for him in the silence laced by the ships rumbling and the incessant ticking of a clock, and this time, all compassion was gone from the scientists voice as he said, Im afraid your time is up, Mr. La Forge. Lets try for the full six minutes, shall we?
Geordi opened his eyes with a gaspwhich evolved into a relieved sigh when he saw himself surrounded by the familiar sight of the Enterprise sickbay. He blinked to clear the last vestiges of the dream.
He had been frightened while aboard the Bird-of-Preybut the pain and Soran had been a distraction. Now that he was safe, the danger he had been in began to hit home. He could have easily been killed …
He banished the thought as Dr. Crusher leaned, smiling, over the biobed, and draped her auburn hair over an ear. Howre you feeling?
He returned the smile as he realized that, physically, he felt ready to return to work. Just fine.
She nodded. Dont worry, theres been no permanent damage. Theres only been a little arterial scarring and some myocardial degeneration. Ive removed the nanoprobe and I think youre going to be fine, but I want to run some more tests.
Thanks, Doc, he said, and pushed himself to a sitting position. He could tell from her voice and expression that he was all right and that she was, as usual, simply being very cautious.
The doctor moved away to reveal Data, who had been standing behind her.
Data! Geordi grinned. He had intended to ask whether the emotion chip had been removedbut the question was unnecessary. The androids eyes were troubled, his expression one of concern, mixed with remorse. Soyou didnt remove the chip after all?
No. It was fused into my neural net. Removing it would be quite complicatedso I am attempting to deal with the emotions. Data sighed heavily. It has not been easy. I have been very worried about you, Geordi.
Its okay. Geordi spread his arms wide. Im here, and Im fine.
It is more than that. Data paused, then lowered his head. I let Soran kidnap you. I could have prevented it, but I did not. And if you had died
But I didnt, Data. Its over, and Im okay.
The android glanced up, his expression miserable. I am sorry I let you down, Geordi. I have not been behaving like myself lately.
Impulsively, Geordi reached out and gave his friends hand a pat. No, you havent. Youve been behaving like a human. He paused. I understand. When Soran tortured me, I was afraid. Dying is a very scary thing, Data. Its normal to fear it.
The android tilted his head in a puzzled gesture that reminded Geordi so much of the old Data that he smiled. I agree, Data said, thoughtful. But before I had the chip implanted, it would have made no sense to me. He paused. It still makes no sense, even though I have experienced the emotion. What is so terrible about simply ceasing to exist?
Geordi shrugged. I dont know. Fear of the unknown, maybe … or maybe its just that our instinct to live is so strong.
But this is terrible, Data said. I am designed to outlast everyone aboard this vessel, yet I am terrified at the thought that, eventually, one day, I will … cease. And that I must lose all of my friends. He shared a meaningful look with Geordi. How do you bear it?
He did not answer immediately. We dont have much choice, I guess. And … to be honest, most of the time we try not to