Star Wars_ Cloak of Deception - James Luceno [30]
“As often as I trained, I always worried that I lacked the temperament to become a Padawan, let alone a Jedi Knight,” Obi-Wan added. “I fought harder than anyone to mask my self-doubt.”
Qui-Gon glanced at him askance, his arms folded. “If you had fought a bit harder, Padawan, you surely would have remained in the Agricultural Corps. It was when you stopped trying so hard that you found your path.”
“I couldn’t keep my mind in the moment.”
“And you still can’t.”
Twelve years earlier, Obi-Wan had been assigned to the Agricultural Corps on the planet Bandomeer, and it was there that he had formed a connection with Qui-Gon, whose previous Padawan had fallen to the dark side of the Force and left the Jedi Order. But despite the bond he and Qui-Gon had formed, there were times when he wondered if he had the makings of a Jedi Knight.
“How do I know that the Agricultural Corps wasn’t my intended path, Master? Perhaps our meeting on Bandomeer was a fork in the path I shouldn’t have taken.”
Qui-Gon finally turned to him. “There are many paths to take, Obi-Wan. Not all of us are fortunate enough to find the one with heart, the path the Force has set before us. What do you find when you search your feelings about the choices you have made?”
“I feel that I’ve found the right path, Master.”
“I agree.” Qui-Gon clapped Obi-Wan on the shoulders, then smiled as he turned to regard the students. “Even so, I think you would have made a good field hand.”
The students were kneeling in two rows, legs tucked underneath, with feet crossed behind them. The room was still, save for the sound of the lightsaber Master’s bare feet adhering to the floor mat as he sauntered between the two rows, appraising each of his students.
A Twi’lek, with slender head-tails and a heavily muscled upper body, his name was Anoon Bondara, a duelist of unparalleled skill. Qui-Gon engaged him in matches at every opportunity. For a match with Bondara, no matter how brief, was more instructive than twenty contests against lesser opponents.
The lightsaber Master stopped in front of a female human student named Darsha Assant, who happened also to be his Padawan. Bondara squatted down on his haunches to regard her at eye level.
“What were you thinking when you attacked?”
“What was I thinking, Master?”
“What was in your thoughts? What was your intent?”
“Merely to be as forceful as possible, Master.”
“You wanted to win.”
“Not to win, Master. I wanted to strike impeccably.”
Bondara made a face. “Rid yourself of thinking. Don’t expect to win; don’t expect to lose. Expect nothing.”
Obi-Wan glanced at Qui-Gon. “Now where have I heard that before?”
Qui-Gon shushed him, without taking his eyes from Bondara, who was in motion once more.
“The lightsaber is not a weapon with which to vanquish foes or rivals,” Bondara said. “With it, you destroy your own greed, anger, and folly. The forger and wielder of a lightsaber must live in such a manner as to represent the annihilation of anything that impedes the path of justice and peace.” He stopped and glanced at everyone. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, Master,” They replied in one voice.
Bondara clapped his hands together loudly. “No, you don’t. You must learn to hold the lightsaber by loosening your grip on it. You must learn to advance rhythmically so that you will learn to produce formless rhythms. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Master,” they replied.
“No, you don’t.” He scowled and sat down at the end of the rows. “I will tell you a story.
“A human,